All Your Worth by Elizabeth Warren and Amelia Warren Tyagi is my all time favorite financial book.  Now if you know me at all, you know that I read a lot of non-fiction, mostly in the areas of finances, parenting, decorating, organizing and living your best life.   

Why is this my favorite finance self-help book of all time, you ask?  Well, I guess because it just plain makes sense.  The authors have looked at the big picture, distilled it down to the root causes and come up with a one size fits all, easy to understand, easy to follow plan that will get you through your life from cradle to grave.  How amazing is that!?!

The premise of the book is simple.  Life requires balance.  Get out of balance and things get funky.  Work your way back to being and balance and life gets pretty easy and enjoyable.  Balance is the case of money is having enough money for each of three categories: must-haves, savings and wants.  Go heavy on one area and you automatically throw off the other areas.  Stay in balance and financial success is pretty much a sure thing.  The balance they suggest isn't arbitrary.  It is based on research as well as common sense and they fully explain the reasoning behind it and the consequences of not following it.  They don't tell you what is important, they leave that up to you.  They don't have an ideology that you have to subscribe to.  There is no guilt and no preaching.  You get to decide what is important and what your own financial ideology is.  You just need to keep it in balance.  



First things first; Must-Haves.  They recommend your Must-Have be at 50% if your take home pay.  They are pretty specific on what constitutes a must-have.  It's something that is necessary for basic human health, safety and dignity.  It is something you would still spend your money on even if you lost your job.  It includes things you are obligated by contract to pay as well.  The list is fairly short and sweet: housing including basic utilities & homeowners or renters insurance, your transportation costs including gas, insurance and a payment, basic medical costs including insurance, life insurance, disability insurance and long term care insurance, a certain amount for basic food, and anything you have signed a contract to pay for, such as student loans, cell phones, a gym membership or furniture, as well as child support and alimony.  Aren't clothes a need?  Well, truly, most people could get by for quite some time with what they already have.  At least 3-6 months.  What about debt payments.  Well we'll get to that in a minute.


What if you have more than 50% in must-haves, like Family currently does?  Then it is time to start trimming.  Not your wants.  It might work for a little while, but eventually you burn out.  You need to work at getting you Must-Haves to 50% or you really don't have much of a chance long term.  Re-shop your insurance.  Can you turn things you are renting back in? 

In our case, our biggest Must-Have expense is what throws us out of balance; our house.  We don't have car payments.  Our cars are older so our insurance costs are quite low.  We don't have anything purchased on time.  We aren't renting anything.  We have too much house.  But we aren't moving.  So we have to find someplace to trim.  For now it is groceries.  We have a lot of food storage built up so for the next few months we are going to try to keep grocery costs to a bare minimum.  But that isn't a long term solution and I know it.  So, if you can't or won't trim your Must-Haves much lower, you have to make more.  Basically, I've got to get a job that at least covers the difference between what our Must-Haves are and what they should be.  Since I've got both kiddos in school full-time, I think that is doable.


The second part of the equation is Savings.  Savings should be at 20%.  Inevitably the question always come up of whether one should build their emergency fund first or pay off existing debts first.  There is a lot of debate in the financial community about this. The authors go the route of Dave Ramsey.  Save $1000 for emergencies first.  This should cover things like a broken washing machine or needing new tires. Then take any existing savings and your monthly 20% and throw it at your consumer debt until it is paid off.  If you end up using your $1000, replenish it with your 20% and get going on the debt again. Most people if they get really serious, and quit amassing any new debt, will pay things off faster than they imagined possible.  It takes a major commitment and focus on the end result though.


Once the debt is vanquished (love that word) the 20% should go to building up a larger emergency fund of 3-6  months Must-Have Expenses.  More if you want or are self-employed.  I think for Family V 9-12 months is a better goal.  The real estate market is still pretty topsy-turvy.  Better to be on the safe side.


After you have amassed your emergency fund it is time to diversify a bit.  10% to retirement, 5% to paying off a house if you have one and 5% towards your dreams, such as major vacations, kid's college funds, going back to school yourself, a Porche 911 Turbo, whatever floats your boat.

They do go into how to invest as well but I won't get into that here.  Like the rest of the book, it is simple as logical.



The last 30% is for Wants.  Wants are what make life worth living.  Wants are what keep you putting your 20% toward your future.  Wants are important and shouldn't be short-changed.  But Wants can't be anymore than 30%.  Wants are cable TV, DSL, clothes, music & karate lessons, electronics, jewelry, vacations, food over and above a basic necessity to live & stay healthy etc.  They may be so important you are tempted to call them Must-Haves, but if you would ultimately cut them if things got really tight, it's a Want.  Mr. Man's karate lessons are expensive and they are also very important to him and therefore to me.  They keep him fit, increase his self-esteem and teach him great values.  But if we had to, we could do without them for a while.  That makes them a Want.  


Some people are heavy on the Wants.  Some people are heavy on the Must-Haves.  Either way you are out of balance and need to do what it takes to get your finances back into alignment.


The most obvious thing about getting yourself back on track is to stop incurring ANY new debt.  Otherwise you may as well just forget it.  For me this is going to require going to using cash for our everyday expenditures.  I find swiping a card, even a debit card to be too convenient.  Usually I don't even know what the total was, I just swipe and go on my merry way.  By counting out the money and watching my stash dwindle I am forced to really thing about spending wisely.  They also recommend having some totally FREE money to quell arguments and give each person in the family some freedom.  It doesn't have to be much but it does have to be no questions asked money that isn't accounted for in the budget.  It goes without saying that it comes from your Wants category.  For R and I, we've agreed on $20 a week for each of us.  This is enough for lunch out or a pair of earrings but not so much that it will throw us off track.


If you are looking for common sense answers to how to handle your money, I highly recommend this book.  It pretty much has it all.  Like most couples, our biggest source of contention is money.  We are optimistic that following this program will address all of our concerns, thus ending the money arguments.  This will most certainly benefit the whole family and improve our marriage.  Can't go wrong there, no?


Read it.  Love it.  Live it.

 

Marvelous Mr. Man

Mr. Man.  What can I say about this kid.  He's handsome, brilliant, funny, anxious, enthusiastic, and can be sooooo hard to parent.  Mr. Man only knows how to do things one way, full ON. Intense is a HUGE understatement. (By the way, he hated the school program in this picture more than anything because they had to be Mer-People and at 4 years old he had already decided that was waaaayyyy too girly for him.)  

He reads like you can't believe.  He finished all 7 Harry Potter books in less than a year.  At school they can take AR tests, which test for comprehension and award the student points based on difficulty of the book and how they do on the test.  Harry Potter 6 had something like 45 points, one of the hardest on the list, and he scored 44.  Last year he won the award for most AR points.  I was really proud of him.

He's super sensitive.  He has a huge heart and is really compassionate toward animals.  Here he is showing me a ladybug on the beach in Costa Rica.  He worries about the health and safety of our pets maybe a little too much.  He gets really upset during kids movies about animals during the obligatory part where the bad guy is being mean to the animal.  R and I have to remind him-it's only 

                                      a movie!

Here he is 2 years later in Costa Rica holding some sort of sea creature he found on the beach.  He has a lot of anxiety in some areas of his life, yet in others he's really adventurous and brave.  You can see by the look on his face how excited, yet freaked out he his.  Every time this kid tries something new, I am thrilled.  But when he goes for something, he goes full force which can freak me out.  It took him several years to work his way up through the roller coaster type rides at Lagoon, but this last year, not only did he ride Wicked, which I think is terrifying, but he jumped on Blast-Off and Re-entry without a second thought, which I refuse to do.  He's a nut on his bike, 4 wheeler and snowboard.  It's when he isn't in control that his anxiety starts to surface.  But he works through it, and when he does I appreciate how strong his spirit is. 

There's a moose behind him in this picture.  Zoltar is totally unfazed, but Mr. Man is not sure what the hell his parents are doing!  Which I think is his main sentiment regarding R and myself as his parents.  He's one of those kids that is sure he knows at least as much as we do, and he may be right when it comes to the facts, but it is impossible to convince him that experience begets wisdom, and we might just have a little more of that than he does.  He just thinks we are old which means our brains are already deteriorating so we couldn't possibly know better than he.  

He's not much a team sports kid, but he does love individual pursuits, like snowboarding, surfing, and most notably, karate.  He's at purple belt, plus he does the tournament team and when he turned 10 he began the leadership training program.

Here he is demonstrating the bo weapon form.  It's so fun to watch.  I've never seen him be so dedicated and work so hard for something.  It's waaayyyy too expensive, but to me it is a non-negotiable expense.  It has developed him more than anything else in his life.  I can't possibly imagine taking that away and I'm pretty sure he will go all the way with it.

He's a natural born actor.  He can memorize lines like it's nothing and he delivers like a natural.  I'd love for him to pursue this talent a little more but his karate takes up much of his free time.  He has mentioned that when he gets to Jr. High he would like to audition for the plays they put on each year.  I think he'd be great at it.

My beautiful boy is growing up right before my very eyes, sometimes obstinate and sassy like a teenager, sometimes silly like a big kid, sometimes whiny and out of sorts like a toddler.  He has many challenges to face in his life.  He has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and recently has begun showing signs of Tourettes Syndrome as well.  I guess if I had to deal with that each day I might get a bit pissy sometimes too.  And yet he handles it with such grace.  He isn't embarrassed.  He doesn't try to hide it.  He just tells it like it is and so far the kids and teachers at school have been very gracious.  He has a regular group of kids he hangs out with during school and some very good friends he hangs out with at home and on the weekends.  He doesn't worry much about being "cool", which ultimately is better than being pre-occupied by it, but there I times I wish he worried enough to care if his clothes match!  Lately, though, he has been asking me what girls like in a guy.  I'm NOT ready for that, that's for sure!

I love this boy ferociously.  He knows exactly which buttons to push to make me nuts and can debate the point for hours.  He lets his emotions all hang out and you never have to guess where you stand with him or what he thinks about something.  I love that.  He's terrified/fascinated about aliens, but just can't help looking at alien encounter books at the library.  He, being a typical OCD person, worries too much about the things he can't definitively prove or disprove, like said aliens and Big Foot and ghosts.  Night time at our house is not nearly as peaceful as I would like. He hates sleeping alone and ends up on our floor many nights.  

And yet there is such clarity with him at times.  He is the one that will stop and say, "wait a minute here.  Let's just all take a deep breath and start over" when things are going terribly wrong between us.   And as much as his brother drives him crazy, and as mean as he can be to Zoltar, he will defend him to the end if he thinks anyone else is being mean.  He will cuddle with his brother when he is afraid and the few times I have thought Zoltar is lost, it's Mr. Man that freaks out the most.  He has always been very spiritual even though we don't spend much time talking about such things around here.  He has spent a lot of time thinking about the nature of the Universe already, and has developed his own theory about life after death. 

There is so much to this young man that when I stop and think about it I am humbled and deeply gratful that I am the lucky person that gets to be his Mom.  He's not only my wonderful boy, he's been one of the greatest teachers I've ever had.  And I am proud to say, at least for now, he's also my friend.  Love you Mr. Man!

Disneyland Christmas Adventure 2009

So many things to love about this picture.  Yes, we are all squinting because it is so bright.  And this is the better of two pics taken.  I also really like the clear view of the lady in purple's bad bleach job and bottom.  I also dig the lady in green directly behind us and the fact that the gentleman we asked to take the picture didn't turn the camera to capture all of Sleeping Beauty's castle, so the whole top is chopped off.  Oh well, what can you do.

Here we are at the Reindeer Roundup in Frontier Land.  When I positioned the boys, the deer were sideways.  I guess they moved while I was focusing the camera.  Just as the picture was taken the one on the right let go and made room for more food (if you know what I mean).  Can you seriously imagine being able to poo and eat at the same time?  

OK, side-note, throughout these pictures I would like to you notice the smiles that my boys purposely practiced and perfected for the photos.  These were crafted to make them look adorable.

All right then, moving on. 

.


Day #2 was spent in California Adventure.  First things first, we had to pay homage to our favorite Pixar movie to date.  Oh we've loved them all, but Cars has earned a special place in our hearts.  Tow-mater is Z's idea of a cool car.  As you can see, M is more of the fast, red, shiny type.

Right after this picture we got in the line for Soarin' Over California.  M pitched a fit.  The ride was stupid.  He was too big for such a stupid ride.  He wanted to go ride something cool. On and on and on.  Seriously to the point I was getting quite angry and ready to take him back to the hotel.  Did I mention Nana and Pops came along for the first two days?  Thank GOD for Nana and Pops because 1) they managed to keep him only very obnoxious instead of exteremely obnoxious and 2) they kept me from totally freaking out and telling him what an annoying little *&#% he was being.  Just about the time we hit the front of the line, he actually remembered the ride and remembered that, oh yeah, he actually really liked this particular attraction and that he had thought we were doing something different.  Never you mind the 1001 times I told him he liked this ride.  What do I know right?

 

M really wanted to ride the BIG BOY rides.  So R took him on this one.  I hate this ride soooo much.  I'm glad R has someone to to do it with that isn't me.  M actually looks excited.  R looks like he might pass out.  Not sure what the hand thing he has going on there is. Right after this, WHOOSH!  

  
That night we went to Goofy's Kitchen Buffet.  I didn't realize you had to call early to get a decent reservation, so we ended up going at 8:00 pm.  By then we were all fried.  We'd been at the Lego store forever, and we were sore, tired and hungry.  Luckily the food was OK, not $75 a pop OK, but we were all really hungry so just about anything would have been OK.  The boys did really enjoy the characters. Especially Chip & Dale. And while we are at this point of the story I would like to take a moment for a bit of a rant.

I realize that it was getting to a point where the characters were being mobbed and they wanted to make it so people could have a chance to actually get near the character and have a picture taken, etc. etc.  But to make it so you have to buy a really pricey meal to see 75% of them is rather ridiculous.  It's a racket I tell you!

Rant over.  Next.                                            Day #3.  Back at Disneyland.  This is a Monday mind you.  Disneyland actually reached capacity and had to close the gates.  So you can imagine how freakin' many people were there.  The rides were a joke and even walking around was an exercise in frustration.  So we hit some of the less popular attractions.  Like to riverboat.  And the island formerly known as Huck Finn's island, now known as something like Pirates of the Caribbean island.  They did actually put in a few cool pirate-y things, but the best thing was that is was unpopulated and the kids could run and climb and let R and I sit by ourselves for a minute.  for those who don't know my kids, they talk a lot.  And they don't really care if the other one is talking.  And they talk loud and fast.  And if no one is talking they will talk just to fill the silence.  So by day 3, my ears needed a break.  So the island was AWESOME!!!  

Day #4 we decided to make use of our early morning.  We rode more rides that morning than we did all day the rest of the days.  R was over it but I thought the last day was our best day.  Again, not sure what R is doing, but M is right on target.  We love the Buzz ride.  We rode all the good rides one more time in both Disneyland and California Adventure.  I was planning to finish the day and trip off with Fantasmic but it was voted and on and everyone was tired and ready to call it a day.  From this picture, I think we made the right call.  


One last story.  On the 1st night of our trip we watched Elf in the hotel room.  My boys laughed their butts off at the part where Elf pushes all the buttons in the elevator.  They kept joking about doing that and we kept telling them not to.  On the 2nd night of our trip, as we reached our floor, R looked around, told us to RUN and hit the buttons.  We ran to our room and laughed and laughed.  It totally shocked the boys and was fun.  Well, I'm sure you can figure out what happened next.  The last night, R and I stopped in the lobby to confirm our flight plans.  The boys asked if they could go up to the room so we gave them a key.  5 minutes later we open the door to our room and both of them come running, bawling their eyes out, babbling something about SECURITY!!!  After we calmed them down enough to talk we found out that they had decided to pull the ELF stunt themselves.  However, being young and inexperienced pranksters, they didn't look to see if anyone was getting on the elevator first.  A young couple with a baby got on and the man freaked out.  He gave them the riot act, asked their names and told them he was calling security.  I guess he was being kind of over the top because his wife eventually told him to let it go and leave them alone.  Not sure if he was doing it just to scare them or if they came across and individual needing some anger management, but nothing came of it.  R taught them one last prankster tip: NEVER GIVE THEM YOUR REAL NAME!  Ah, the lessons passed from one generation to the next.  


So we had fun and now the boys can quit bugging me about Disneyland and R can go to El Salvador to surf for his 40th birthday without feeling guilty and I got my Disney fix for a year or two.  Mission Accomplished.

 

Menu Planning Monday

Trying to make life a little more predictable around here by planning our meals out in advance.  That way I know what I'll be cooking, thereby skipping the dreaded "what the heck am I going to cook for dinner" at 4 o'clock while standing in front of the fridge, and the kids will know what to expect as well.

Monday- leftover pizza from the birthday party
Tuesday-dinner at a friend's house
Wednesday-curry chicken with rice, corn

Thursday-leftover pork chops, pasta salad, mandarin oranges
Friday-going out-kids having dinner with Nana and Pops
Saturday-potluck-make cookies to bring
Sunday-beef medallions, roasted potatoes, glazed carrots

Wow!  I don't have to cook much this week!  Love that.

Christmas 2009

We had an awesome, though hectic Christmas.  We are in the middle of a kitchen remodel.  We thought we would be getting wood floors on the 15th of December.  Because I didn't want to put decorations up and then have to move them, only to put them back again, I put off decorating.  As most people who have done any sort of remodeling know, what the plan is, and what actually happens are usually two different things.  When the floor arrived on the 15th, knowing that it needs to acclimate for about 2 weeks, and being the Einstein that I am, I realized that we wouldn't be getting our floors before Christmas.  At this point I realized, not without some major guilt tripping from my eldest and my father, that I had better put up a tree.  So I did.  Voila!  Christmas decorations done!  Meanwhile I was slowly moving everything out of the kitchen and the living room to prepare.

Now to add to the crazy, cuz that's how I roll y'all, and after deliberating on what the hell to get my kids for Christmas because they already own a ton of crap toys, and I'm totally bizarro mom because I don't allow much in the way of electronics, I suggested we take the kids on a Christmas trip to DISNEYLAND.  OK, OK, I will totally admit that I've been jonesin' to see the mouse but I figured the boys would be happy too.  To my utter and complete surprise R. said YES.  I later realized that it was because he had a 40th b-day trip planned to surf in  El Salvador for 10 DAYS and he was feeling like he better do some kissing up.  And to keep it really interesting we decided to keep it a surprise.  And to add even more madness we decided to leave ON CHRISTMAS DAY.  That way it would be immediate gratification like any other Christmas present, and the floor guys could do their dirty work while we were gone.  And so, that is what we did. 

So my kids had a week of school off before Christmas which had to be the most boringest week of their lives because I was working my arse off to have everything painted and moved before we left but of course I couldn't tell them that.  I just kept promising them that we would do some fun stuff after Christmas.  The day before we moved out all the appliances and everything but the couch and the Christmas tree.  Furniture piled up EVERYWHERE dude.  Total fire hazard.

Christmas morning M woke up at 4:30 AM.  OK I wish there was a way to emphasize the OMG factor of that in writing, so just imagine I yelled the 4:30 part emphatically to emphasize the ridiculousness of that.  When, being the ruiners of all goodness and fun that we are, we suggested (OK required) him to GO BACK TO BED!!!! he spent the next hour crying.  Sobbing really and bemoaning how difficult his life is and how he wished he could be more patient but just couldn't.  At 5:30 am Z woke up and told M to go back to sleep because he thought that it was still Christmas Eve and that if M didn't stop crying and go to sleep already then Santa would never come.  M informed him between sobs that he was trying for the love of Pete.  At 6:00 R and I relented and let them go get their stocking while we put on our robes and slippers and got a cup of life, I mean coffee.  And so our day began.

Now let me tell you that I was actually a little worried about how this Christmas was going to go over.  Not only were they notr getting much in the way of stuff from us, but Santa was unable to deliver the only thing Z wanted, a bigger tractor with a scoop or snow plow.  Now mind you, Santa was NOT lazy or uncaring.  Santa had searched the world over for a bigger tractor with a scoop and/or snow plow.  

Finding a tractor for a child over the age of 5 and 50 pounds proved to be a daunting task.  Apparently most children grow out of the construction phase.  But let me tell you people, there is an underserved segment of the population out there, kids over the age of 5 who have construction and farming in their blood.  These are the builder children, the ones who dismantle things and build new things with them even if these things are your new stuff and his building seems a little more like destroying.  These are the children that become contractors or architects or farmers.  These are outside kids, boys aching to become men.  The hands on kind of kid.  And I have one.  And I could not find this kid a tractor.  Sidenote:  when a family doesn't have TV their children don't see much in the way of advertising and so when they ask for something it is usually because they really really want that particular item.  Even more so when it is the ONLY thing on their list and they have written Santa about it more than once.  Ugh.


But guess what?  They do make them.  In Germany.  And they do sell them.  In Europe.  Does anyone in the U.S. have one?  Nope.  Ask me how much it costs to ship one here?  $400 is my answer.  WTF!!  Don't we have farm kids in the U.S. who want a tractor?  Why on earth can't you find one here?  I dunno.  But there is a happy ending to our story.  I found one on E-bay, right here on American soil.  So I bought it but it wouldn't be here before Christmas.  And to add some more to the crazy, both boys birthdays are in the beginning of January.  So I had his present in the bag.


So we get up and they see that Santa has brought them a new flat screen TV (not even sure why that happened yet because it is still in the box) and were excited.  Then they see that they have each received a new carry on suitcase.  Moderate enthusiasm.  Then they open their Santa gifts which include Lego sets and a tool box for Z and a fire starting flint for M (maybe I have a secret shadow side wish to have my children destroy my home, I don't know).  Then they open two Mickey Mouse greeting cards that inform them we are going to Disneyland.  And much to my relief and satisfaction they are STOKED.  M kept asking if it was a joke and Z kept yelling "Thank You".  And that we were leaving later that day was even more exciting.  But yes, Z did mention that he was sad he didn't get his new bigger tractor with a scoop and a snow plow.  I told him we would find one for his birthday, wink-wink.

So it went well.  R and I then spent the next few hours getting everything ready for the floor guys to come and getting everything packed for our adventure.  Then we headed off to Nana and Pops for breakfast and some gift opening with the extended family.  At 1 PM we said good-bye and headed off to the airport.  A quick 1 hour and 30 minutes later we touched down in Cali, found our shuttle, checked into the airport and settled in.  Then we had an extremely mediocre buffet at the hotel, who I will cut some slack because a) they are in the middle of a huge remodel, and b) we got a screamin' deal because of said remodel, and c) kids ate free so it wasn't too expensive.  And with that we went to bed so we could get ready for DISNEYLAND!!!

I'll save the Disneyland info for the next post.