The not so Simple Family V

So I'm a huge believer in unstructured playtime for kids and not over scheduling them. When I read books and magazine articles about how crazy kid's schedules are these days and how parents need to pull back a bit I find myself nodding and agreeing completely.

And then I took a look at our schedule. And I'm so full of crap.

Every summer I freak about trying to keep my kids entertained, happy and our home reasonable peaceful. In addition, I've got to keep up the marketing side of our business which requires about 15 hours a week. So I sign them up for summer camp. I love their summer camp, I truly do. They do fieldtrips, cooking, science experiments, drama, karate, art, and all other fun things. Plus I figure my kids will get to see friends their own age on a regular basis without having to be with each other, because, I hate to admit, my kids fight, a lot. They seem to like it, and on the days they don't go, they are bored and can't find other kids that can play and it is a constant battle to keep the TV, computer, Playstation, Gameboy, etc. off. And wouldn't most kids really rather go to the waterpark with other kids instead of mom and brother? So they go 3 days a week, Tuesday, Wednesday and Fridays from 10-4. They were also going on Mondays but we decided to drop it in July and August so that they could play at home a little more and we could save a little money.

Then there is the once a week visit to Granny that they have both been doing their whole lives. They go spend an afternoon with R's grandma, who has lived alone for 28 years. She is the most amazing woman and my kids adore her. They go from 2-5 on Thursdays.

Then there is karate. M begged from the time he was 5 until we finally signed up at almost 7 to take karate. He loves it and would rather do that than anything else. So of course we just signed Z up as well. This is Tuesday and Thursday nights with Z's class at 5:30-6:15 and M from 6:15-7:45. Hard to find time for dinner on these nights. On Tuesdays I pick them up from summer camp at 4, we go to the library (because it doesn't make sense to drive all the way home for an hour) until 5, change into karate clothes, grab a snack and head back for karate (they take from the same place they go to summer camp). On Thursdays I pick them up from Granny's at 5, get changed and head over. Not much time for a family dinner so we eat on the run. I HATE THIS.

Then Z decides he really wants to play baseball. OK, I figure, he gets to try stuff out and decide what he likes too. So we sign up for the summer league and the games are at 7 on Mondays and Wednesdays. M decides as long as he is there he may as well play too. I'm glad the games are at 7 because we at least have a chance to go home after summer camp and have a meal before the game.

So basically we have something every single evening and most days. Add on top of that the golf lessons M took at the beginning of the summer from 8:30am-9:30am for a week, the swim lessons we should be taking, playdates, sleepovers, vacations, going to Bear Lake on the weekends or swimming at Grandpa's pool and hanging out with friends for BBQ's and we have gotten CRAZY busy. And I just can't take it anymore!!! Nevermind the money we are shelling out for all the stuff.

So, I am taking a good hard look at all of it. What should stay, what goes?

Well, first goes Z's karate. He complains every single time that he doesn't want to go. Once he gets there he is fine, but I don't really think he is getting it. I think it is a little past his mental capacity right now. I asked if he wanted to quit until he is 7 years old and he was delighted to give it up. So now on Tuesdays and Thursdays we have bought enough time to actually eat dinner at home. Amazing what 45 minutes can do. This will also save me $80 a month.

Next in line, we aren't going to take swim lessons this summer. I am a firm believer in swim lessons, but we swim often and one summer off won't ruin them for life. M is totally competent in the water, he just can't really dive and doesn't have pretty strokes. Z is getting to where he can put his head in the water and get to where he wants to be. Because we are taking this summer off, next summer, lessons will be a top priority. This doesn't actually free anything up at this point except a load off my mind. And that's worth it.

When baseball ends, Z will play soccer and M will do karate. This will put them at 1 sports activity each. That I can live with. With the school year there will be a whole new set of activities to decide about. Cub scouts, chess club, science club, spanish lessons. I'm thinking M can choose 1. Z doesn't need to be doing any of them at this point.

At some point I'd also like them to do music lessons of some sort. The only thing Z has ever asked to do is take drum lessons. When he is 7 I think we will definitely look into this. M has expressed some interest in the electric guitar. This may also be a possibility coming up.

Will we do summer camp again next year. I'm not sure. It's expensive, but it keeps them busy in a constructive way for a few days a week. I could do a few weeks of camp instead at places like the zoo, natural history museum etc. But the simplicity of going to same place, with the same system is very appealing to me. Or they could just stay home and we could save the money and see how our sanity holds up. Not sure yet.

The other decision I've made is not to be so rigid about making it every single time to all these activities. If we miss a few days of camp, karate and a game of baseball to go to Bear Lake, oh well. Sure we are wasting money, but it's been paid already anyway. I'm just going with the flow, keeping our options open. Mentally this has made me feel a million times less stressed.

I have a feeling as the boys get older we will have to do this rethinking exercise often, probably about once a quarter to avoid getting to busy again. While I think part of being a good parent involves exposing your children to lots of things so they can find what they like, it's also making sure there is lots of time to just be. To be bored a little and then find something to do. There are so many opportunities for them, too many for them to EVER be able to do them all. Like everything else in life, it's a balancing act. Karate lessons one evening, hanging out at home with the family the next. Summercamp today, a playdate tomorrow, nobody to play with but your brother the next day. It's all good.

The Alphabet of G

So today I thought I'd do a meme. Just a little more info about me. I saw the idea on another blog and it piqued my interest. So here goes.

A is for age. 35.
B is for books I'm reading. Currently I'm reading Anna Karenina, Taking Back Childhood and Expecting Adam.
C is for car. I drive a '99 Subaru Forester, white, with lots of stickers. For my next car I'm thinking...another Subaru Forester. I love my car.
D is for dog. 1 male 2 year old lab/australian shepard named Pepe . He's finally getting to be a very good dog.
E is for exercise. I've been walking an hour every other morning in the hills around our house with Pepe, running for 30 minutes every other morning and another walk most evenings for around 20 minutes or so.
F is for fave TV show. I don't have one. I don't watch much TV. I guess I like to catch Oprah on occasion.
G is for groceries. I actually like to shop if I'm alone. If I'm with the monkeys, I honestly HATE it. Weekly essentials are yogurt, bananas, milk, bread, beer, honey nut cheerios and apples. I spend way too much and I'm trying to cut my average while sticking with my philosophy of buying local and organic as much as possible. I belong to a CSA which helps.
H is for husband. Mine is named R, he's 38, a realtor, loves to mountain bike, is a stress case, a former professional snowboarder and is very handsome.
I is for ice cream. I can't really eat it. It makes me very very ill if I eat more than just a little. I don't know why because I don't have a problem with dairy. But I love cookie dough.
J is for job. Well I guess I'm a realtor, but I only work a few hours a week helping R with the business. I consider being a stay at home mom my real job. I keep thinking I may get a part time job at REI or something. I did work for Novell as an auditor for 5 years before staying home with the monkeys.
K is for kids. Two. M is 8, Z is 5. That's plenty for me.
L is for lipstick. Mica from L'oreal. Worn it since Jr. High.
M is for marriage. September will mark 12 years. It has gone by pretty fast.
N is for number of piercings. I've had six. Four in one ear and two in the other. 2 have closed leaving two in each ear.
O is for optometry. Contacts and glasses. I'm really blind and would LOVE to have lasik.
P is for peeps. R and I have a fabulous group of friends. We hang a lot and I really love them all.
Q is for quiet time. For me that is a bath with a book. I'm cutting back to save water, but I LOVE me a long bath, especially in the winter.
R is for regret. One is that I never lived alone before getting married. I went straight from the 'rents to R's house. If life goes well, I'll never have that chance again. Other than that I try not to worry about the past.
S is for sports. I loved to play volleyball, basketball, softball and swim as a kid. As a young adult I snowboarded and kayaked a lot. Now, not much of anything. I like to run. I HATE watching sports on TV, thought I don't mind attending live games.
T is for tattoo. One on my ankle. It is a Pisces sign. It is faded and has bled and is very much just a blob now. I can't decide if I should remove it or see if I can have it redone. Would I get another? Sure, if I could design something with my kids initials or something really meaningful to me. Would I want my kids to have one? I don't think I'd mind as long as they weren't going crazy with them.
U is ultimate reality. I'd love to live in a small beach town, surf everyday, garden, read, walk, bike and just chill with my peeps.
V is for vegetables. I love them. I love asparagus, corn, peppers, pumpkins. I love to grow them too. I'm going to learn to can them this summer.
W is for worst habit. It's toss up between picking at every bump on my skin, and talking too much. And I've noticed I interrupt a bit. I've been working on that.
X is for number of x-rays. 2 that I can remember. One for a broken wrist and the other for plantar fasciitis.
Y is for yummy food. Tomatoes with garlic, basil, balsamic and olive oil. With crusty bread. Yum!
Z is for zodiac. I'm a Pisces. I think it fits though I haven't really found my creativity yet. But I will.

So a little about me.