New creature in our house-Welcome Freddie!

We have a new kitty. His name is Mr. Freddie Kung-Fu Kitty Miyagi. Freddie for short. He is so sweet and good natured. Here's a look-see. Isn't he cute?

Did we want a new cat? Well, yes and no. I've been thinking about it for awhile now, but also have been putting it off because of the added responsibility and the added cost. R really didn't want more of either. But R's cousin ended up with a stray who, SURPRISE, had kittens. So she brought one to Z when Granny had him on Thursday. He'd already had the kitten for 4 hours and named it Freddie by the time I picked him up. Granny, that sneaky, I mean wise woman told me she had told R we were getting him when he dropped Z off. She failed to, I mean forgot to mention he said "NO WAY". Well The Boys are thrilled and are really happy and loving the attention a new baby pet brings. Z already showed his summercamp class, who were besides themselves with baby animal love. And I have to admit I am quite smitten with him myself. Nothing better than a kitty cuddle and purr. R may take a little longer, but with him it always does. He isn't one to give away his heart easily (some day I will tell the story of our very stretched out courting process) and that's OK, though I don't know how you can resist that little face.

Our dog is a little concerned about a creature moving in and us actually liking it. But he does really well, just a little whining, lots of puzzled looks and some dejected sighing. The cat has been pretty mellow as well. A few small hisses and sideways jumps. They both slept on the bed with us most of last night, so I think we'll be fine.

The kids (read: I suspect Z) have loved him maybe just a little too much, however, and he seems to be limping quite a bit. So Monday will be our first vet visit, which of course makes my very fiscally responsible husband soooo happy. I hope it doesn't require X-rays and stuff. We would have had to take him for an initial visit anyway. And I've always figured once to bring a pet home they are family, and you can't skimp on healthcare for family. I'm secretly hoping he'll wake up tomorrow much improved. We'll see.

Gardening-I love it!

So I decided this year I was definitely going to have a garden, so I planted lots of tomatoes, herbs, peppers and a few zucchini in pots and tucked a few into the flower beds as well. I'd like to say it's going fantastic, but it is just going OK. I have some jalapenos, 1 bell pepper, a few zukes, a few of each type of tomato I planted plus a ton of cherry tomatoes. The funny thing is that I used organic gardening soil in all but the cherry tomatoes. I just threw those into a barrel style planter that was already in the back yard. But I still have high hopes. I have scoped out my sight for a permanent garden in the backyard. I just need to muster up the fortitude to till it up and amend the soil. It's pretty rocky and acidic because it had juniper bushes growing there up until this spring. It's perfect spot, gets enough sun, and is by the hose spigot so I can hook up a soaker hose. I really just need to get on it so that I can plant some fall crops.

Anyway, here is a pic of my current set-up. It's early morning so it is still shady.

And my first beautifirous tomato!

I have lots of dreams about canning and preserving. We'll see how that goes though. August is shaping up to be a crazy month.

The not so Simple Family V

So I'm a huge believer in unstructured playtime for kids and not over scheduling them. When I read books and magazine articles about how crazy kid's schedules are these days and how parents need to pull back a bit I find myself nodding and agreeing completely.

And then I took a look at our schedule. And I'm so full of crap.

Every summer I freak about trying to keep my kids entertained, happy and our home reasonable peaceful. In addition, I've got to keep up the marketing side of our business which requires about 15 hours a week. So I sign them up for summer camp. I love their summer camp, I truly do. They do fieldtrips, cooking, science experiments, drama, karate, art, and all other fun things. Plus I figure my kids will get to see friends their own age on a regular basis without having to be with each other, because, I hate to admit, my kids fight, a lot. They seem to like it, and on the days they don't go, they are bored and can't find other kids that can play and it is a constant battle to keep the TV, computer, Playstation, Gameboy, etc. off. And wouldn't most kids really rather go to the waterpark with other kids instead of mom and brother? So they go 3 days a week, Tuesday, Wednesday and Fridays from 10-4. They were also going on Mondays but we decided to drop it in July and August so that they could play at home a little more and we could save a little money.

Then there is the once a week visit to Granny that they have both been doing their whole lives. They go spend an afternoon with R's grandma, who has lived alone for 28 years. She is the most amazing woman and my kids adore her. They go from 2-5 on Thursdays.

Then there is karate. M begged from the time he was 5 until we finally signed up at almost 7 to take karate. He loves it and would rather do that than anything else. So of course we just signed Z up as well. This is Tuesday and Thursday nights with Z's class at 5:30-6:15 and M from 6:15-7:45. Hard to find time for dinner on these nights. On Tuesdays I pick them up from summer camp at 4, we go to the library (because it doesn't make sense to drive all the way home for an hour) until 5, change into karate clothes, grab a snack and head back for karate (they take from the same place they go to summer camp). On Thursdays I pick them up from Granny's at 5, get changed and head over. Not much time for a family dinner so we eat on the run. I HATE THIS.

Then Z decides he really wants to play baseball. OK, I figure, he gets to try stuff out and decide what he likes too. So we sign up for the summer league and the games are at 7 on Mondays and Wednesdays. M decides as long as he is there he may as well play too. I'm glad the games are at 7 because we at least have a chance to go home after summer camp and have a meal before the game.

So basically we have something every single evening and most days. Add on top of that the golf lessons M took at the beginning of the summer from 8:30am-9:30am for a week, the swim lessons we should be taking, playdates, sleepovers, vacations, going to Bear Lake on the weekends or swimming at Grandpa's pool and hanging out with friends for BBQ's and we have gotten CRAZY busy. And I just can't take it anymore!!! Nevermind the money we are shelling out for all the stuff.

So, I am taking a good hard look at all of it. What should stay, what goes?

Well, first goes Z's karate. He complains every single time that he doesn't want to go. Once he gets there he is fine, but I don't really think he is getting it. I think it is a little past his mental capacity right now. I asked if he wanted to quit until he is 7 years old and he was delighted to give it up. So now on Tuesdays and Thursdays we have bought enough time to actually eat dinner at home. Amazing what 45 minutes can do. This will also save me $80 a month.

Next in line, we aren't going to take swim lessons this summer. I am a firm believer in swim lessons, but we swim often and one summer off won't ruin them for life. M is totally competent in the water, he just can't really dive and doesn't have pretty strokes. Z is getting to where he can put his head in the water and get to where he wants to be. Because we are taking this summer off, next summer, lessons will be a top priority. This doesn't actually free anything up at this point except a load off my mind. And that's worth it.

When baseball ends, Z will play soccer and M will do karate. This will put them at 1 sports activity each. That I can live with. With the school year there will be a whole new set of activities to decide about. Cub scouts, chess club, science club, spanish lessons. I'm thinking M can choose 1. Z doesn't need to be doing any of them at this point.

At some point I'd also like them to do music lessons of some sort. The only thing Z has ever asked to do is take drum lessons. When he is 7 I think we will definitely look into this. M has expressed some interest in the electric guitar. This may also be a possibility coming up.

Will we do summer camp again next year. I'm not sure. It's expensive, but it keeps them busy in a constructive way for a few days a week. I could do a few weeks of camp instead at places like the zoo, natural history museum etc. But the simplicity of going to same place, with the same system is very appealing to me. Or they could just stay home and we could save the money and see how our sanity holds up. Not sure yet.

The other decision I've made is not to be so rigid about making it every single time to all these activities. If we miss a few days of camp, karate and a game of baseball to go to Bear Lake, oh well. Sure we are wasting money, but it's been paid already anyway. I'm just going with the flow, keeping our options open. Mentally this has made me feel a million times less stressed.

I have a feeling as the boys get older we will have to do this rethinking exercise often, probably about once a quarter to avoid getting to busy again. While I think part of being a good parent involves exposing your children to lots of things so they can find what they like, it's also making sure there is lots of time to just be. To be bored a little and then find something to do. There are so many opportunities for them, too many for them to EVER be able to do them all. Like everything else in life, it's a balancing act. Karate lessons one evening, hanging out at home with the family the next. Summercamp today, a playdate tomorrow, nobody to play with but your brother the next day. It's all good.

The Alphabet of G

So today I thought I'd do a meme. Just a little more info about me. I saw the idea on another blog and it piqued my interest. So here goes.

A is for age. 35.
B is for books I'm reading. Currently I'm reading Anna Karenina, Taking Back Childhood and Expecting Adam.
C is for car. I drive a '99 Subaru Forester, white, with lots of stickers. For my next car I'm thinking...another Subaru Forester. I love my car.
D is for dog. 1 male 2 year old lab/australian shepard named Pepe . He's finally getting to be a very good dog.
E is for exercise. I've been walking an hour every other morning in the hills around our house with Pepe, running for 30 minutes every other morning and another walk most evenings for around 20 minutes or so.
F is for fave TV show. I don't have one. I don't watch much TV. I guess I like to catch Oprah on occasion.
G is for groceries. I actually like to shop if I'm alone. If I'm with the monkeys, I honestly HATE it. Weekly essentials are yogurt, bananas, milk, bread, beer, honey nut cheerios and apples. I spend way too much and I'm trying to cut my average while sticking with my philosophy of buying local and organic as much as possible. I belong to a CSA which helps.
H is for husband. Mine is named R, he's 38, a realtor, loves to mountain bike, is a stress case, a former professional snowboarder and is very handsome.
I is for ice cream. I can't really eat it. It makes me very very ill if I eat more than just a little. I don't know why because I don't have a problem with dairy. But I love cookie dough.
J is for job. Well I guess I'm a realtor, but I only work a few hours a week helping R with the business. I consider being a stay at home mom my real job. I keep thinking I may get a part time job at REI or something. I did work for Novell as an auditor for 5 years before staying home with the monkeys.
K is for kids. Two. M is 8, Z is 5. That's plenty for me.
L is for lipstick. Mica from L'oreal. Worn it since Jr. High.
M is for marriage. September will mark 12 years. It has gone by pretty fast.
N is for number of piercings. I've had six. Four in one ear and two in the other. 2 have closed leaving two in each ear.
O is for optometry. Contacts and glasses. I'm really blind and would LOVE to have lasik.
P is for peeps. R and I have a fabulous group of friends. We hang a lot and I really love them all.
Q is for quiet time. For me that is a bath with a book. I'm cutting back to save water, but I LOVE me a long bath, especially in the winter.
R is for regret. One is that I never lived alone before getting married. I went straight from the 'rents to R's house. If life goes well, I'll never have that chance again. Other than that I try not to worry about the past.
S is for sports. I loved to play volleyball, basketball, softball and swim as a kid. As a young adult I snowboarded and kayaked a lot. Now, not much of anything. I like to run. I HATE watching sports on TV, thought I don't mind attending live games.
T is for tattoo. One on my ankle. It is a Pisces sign. It is faded and has bled and is very much just a blob now. I can't decide if I should remove it or see if I can have it redone. Would I get another? Sure, if I could design something with my kids initials or something really meaningful to me. Would I want my kids to have one? I don't think I'd mind as long as they weren't going crazy with them.
U is ultimate reality. I'd love to live in a small beach town, surf everyday, garden, read, walk, bike and just chill with my peeps.
V is for vegetables. I love them. I love asparagus, corn, peppers, pumpkins. I love to grow them too. I'm going to learn to can them this summer.
W is for worst habit. It's toss up between picking at every bump on my skin, and talking too much. And I've noticed I interrupt a bit. I've been working on that.
X is for number of x-rays. 2 that I can remember. One for a broken wrist and the other for plantar fasciitis.
Y is for yummy food. Tomatoes with garlic, basil, balsamic and olive oil. With crusty bread. Yum!
Z is for zodiac. I'm a Pisces. I think it fits though I haven't really found my creativity yet. But I will.

So a little about me.

DIY & Me

I grew up in a very traditional household. Dad took care of the cars and big projects, Mom took care of the inside and kids. R and I are also a very traditional, however, he does not take care of the cars, and for the past 5 years, he also doesn't do much in the way of house projects. He just doesn't want to. I can respect that. But I also have to face the fact that we definitely bought an outdated, fixer-upper in need of updating, repairing and the usual maintenance. What is a girl to do when hubby has other interests that don't include putting up chair-rail in the bedrooms and switching out the fixtures in the bathroom to chrome? Well, she decides to DIY.

I fantasize about moving into a smaller, already fixed-up home where all I have to do is place furniture. But the reality of our situation is, we bought a fixer upper in a highly desirable area. Most of the value of our home is actually the land it sits on. We could probably knock the house down and sell the lot for almost as much as both of them together. Possibly more if I really think about it. Our home was built in 1970 and has that lovely 70s aura about it. I've painted, oh how I've painted, but the truth is, it needs more than that. It needs new bathrooms, a new kitchen, a basement reconfigure, decks redone, windows replaced, a roof. Can I tackle all that? Obviously, no. But there is quite a bit I could do with a little knowledge and a lot of sweat. And the rest I can outsource.

So I am going to tackle a project a month. Some are smaller than others, so I might get a few in each month, but if I aim for completing a project a month, in 12 months there will be 12 things in our home that I don't cringe at the sight of. And who knows, maybe it will be contagious.

13 pounds down, 13 more to go!

So I've lost 13 pounds. Feeling great about that. I have no cute clothes and desperately need to update my wardrobe, but I'm not done losing weight yet so I'm going to wait. I went out with some girlfriends last night to the MIA concert and didn't feel like a fatty the whole night. That felt great. But I didn't feel really cute either because my clothes are a bit big and somewhat boring.
The question is, what is my personal style? I honestly don't know. In high school I was a bit of a hippy and favored flowy, earth mama type clothes. Since then I've had a hard time figuring out what my style is. I still like earthy type clothes, but I also like clothes with a little bit of a punk rock edge, but I also like the SoCal look as well as the polished Anne Taylor look. Part of the problem is that I'm 35 and not sure what is appropriate anymore. Do I look totally ridiculous wearing Chuck Taylor's with skulls? I'm not very good and mixing and matching things so the Boho look is hard for me. Plus I'm hyper aware of my body shape and what makes me look leaner vs. bigger. But you can't wear long dark book cut jeans, heels and a V neck top every single day. Is it possible to take a fashion class?
My good friend is very Boho and puts things together that would give me a heart attack leaving the house in. For instance, yesterday she wore a navy and white stripe spaghetti strap tank over a black tank. It looked fine, but I would have NEVER put it together because my inner rules say navy and black don't go together. I would have totally been stuck with a plain white tank underneath. Actually I wouldn't have worn it at all because I feel weird layering. I've got issues I tell ya. For years I've stuck to jeans, black top, black belt, black shoes, silver hoops. My uniform. But then a male friend commented on my uniform. So now I feel boring.
So I guess it's time to research and make a plan for updating my wardrobe.
Then I'll have to make a plan to keep the weight off so I can wear the new wardrobe.
Oh the things I occupy my brain space worrying about.

Priorities & Intention

Sometimes I swear I have ADD. Days go by and I wonder what I've accomplished. I tend to flit from one thing to the next. At other times in my life I have had imposed structure (which I have always resented) in the form of public school, parental rules, work rules and expectations, etc. Since I quit working for Novell, I have pretty much been on my own to dictate my priorities and how my time is best spent. I don't think I have done a good job. I get easily overwhelmed and distracted and spend my time on whatever is right in front of me and demanding the most attention RIGHT NOW.

As a result, one of things I have tried to cultivate in my life is to live it with intention. To create the life I want based on what I value most and to feel like I am really living each moment so that when I look back on my life, I feel like a used my time here well. I don't want to look back on my whole life and feel like I do about most of my days, like I just went through the motions. But if my days go by that way, then it follows that the result of my lifetime would also be that.

Being an orginizationally challenged individual I haven't been successful and figuring out how to mesh my values, my priorities and my time together in a meaningful way. But thank goodness there are people out there that are naturally good at this stuff and these amazing people write books!

I'm currently reading Find More Time: how to get things done at home, organize your life and feel great about it by Laura Stack. Oh how I love this book. It is a book to own. It is organized it to bit size steps that help you figure it all out and progress. It gives simple, concrete steps and examples to help those of us that are organizationally dysfunctional. I tend to get bogged down in the details, so simple is best.

I have discovered my main values are: family, learning, security, health, and fun. It may seem obvious to most people, but I now realize that my time and actions should be based on these values. I've set several small, reachable goals for each value with rewards for reaching them. Progress is the name of the game. During the day I stop and think, "does this relate to my values? does this help me reach my goals"? and if it doesn't, I redirect. Novel concept, I know.

I think this is a perfect task for spring.

Randomness

I quit my "perfect" job at the Winner School. Why? Because the amount of energy it requires is far more than the benefits. And my dear husband finally realized that a part time job isn't going to change much financially but it certainly does increase the havoc level at our house. So I gathered my gumption and went in a quit. Do they think I'm a flake? Very likely. Does that really matter? Nope. I'm going to finish out this week and then I'll be done. I'm just going to stick with R and help the V Group run smoothly. This summer the monkeys will be in summer camp and I will have time to work and some time to play. Sounds nice.

On another front, somebody out there HATES my front door. I mean really hates it. Enough to send me a very rude anonymous letter stating that I can't possibly think it looks good and I need to repaint it ASAP. All I could say after reading it was "WOW". I will say that my front door is quite bold and I knew when I painted it that it wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea. But I cannot fathom that someone out there really thinks that I give a rats ass about their opinion of my door. There are some very deluded people out there with an over abundance of self importance. Oh well. I promptly went out to look for patio furniture to match my front door and found a bunch of sets that have cushions in the exact colors this person seems to think are so awful. Interesting isn't it? I've been saving and have enough to go purchase a set as soon as I can borrow my dad's truck. I'm seriously considering painting the garage door to match!

On the subject of school schedules: Why on earth would they give us last Thursday and Friday off, this Monday off, hold school on Tuesday Wednesday and a short day on Thursday, then have Friday off again? It's maddening.

Tonight is my birthday dinner with some of my girlfriends. Hooray. Turkey sandwiches with Caramel Coffee Cake for dessert. I can't wait!

My dear sister A has not had her baby yet. Making us all crazy with anticipation. I am so excited to have a little nephew. I think it is more fun to have a new baby in the family when you are past the baby phase yourself. When my neice R was born I had a 11 month old and a 4 year old. I don't actually remember much of her as a baby. This time I think I will have a chance to enjoy it. And then in August I will have a new V neice and nephew! How fun!

And finally, I have daffodils! I have tulip leaves (no flowers because unbeknownst to me, deer LOVE tulips and will eat them while you sleep!). I have new green sproutings on my perennials! I love Spring! It is definitely my favorite season. More and more I appreciate the feeling of rebirth and awakening that accompanies Spring. This felt like such a cold, snowy, freezing Winter. Spring reminds you that you will make it through the seasons of your life, literally and figuratively.

Expectations

I often find myself going overboard to live up to "their" expectations. But who are "they" anyway? I'm not really sure, but "they" seem to be ever present in my mind. I'd rather go overboard than underboard. So I spend too much on gifts, I freak out over potluck dishes and I make sure holidays are overpriced and overstuffed. Why? Where did I get this crazy idea that simple isn't enough?
I read in Martha Beck's book Finding Your North Star that we all have around 5 people that make up our "they". When we are making choices we are thinking about what these people would think. Of course they change over time and we may or may not actually know these people. It is totally possible that you could be making decisions in your real life based on what you think your favorite movie star would think about your choice. Isn't that crazy?
The funny thing is I had a conversation with someone who I realized makes up one of my "they" people this weekend. I'm going overboard to impress this person, and this person is wishing that we could all just relax, simplify, and make our lives easier, more affordable and enjoyable. Because this person suffers from the same need to go overboard! I'm so glad we talked!
So I'm going to do my best in situations that require me to put myself out into the public sphere to stop, figure out what it is I think "they" want me to do, then figure out what I want (now there's a concept!) and simplify! Simplify the cost, the presentation, the effort. Because if we all keep trying to keep up, we actually out do and expectations keep going up, up, up.
With the economy that way it is, I really want to be saving my money and investing it instead of wasting it on pretentions. I'm so glad to know that others feel the same way. I shouldn't care what others think, but I do. But if I'm honest and tell others where my priorites lie, I might just find out they feel the same way. And if they don't, at least they know where I stand, right?

Sunday Catch-up

Just thought I'd post a few new pics and an update.

Life is good. Spring is in the air (thank goodness!) and my mood is improving. It did snow last night but as I sit here I can see the snow melting away. I love that about Spring, you know it will melt! The forecast looks sunny and warm for the week. I am ready to get these kids outside and moving! Here is a pic of President's Day at our house.

I joined the gym at the beginning of the month. I've been trying to go each morning at 7 am, right after R comes back from his workout. I made it three times last week. I'm determined to go at least 4 this week. Can I see a difference? My clothes do feel better and I've received some very lovely compliments. Have I been following THE WAY? Pretty much. I need to revise THE WAY a bit and really commit. It's sure hard when it is birthday week and the Girl Scouts are selling those damn cookies!

I've been quite busy this week, in a good way. Tuesday I ran into my friend L at Target. Always nice to see her. Then I ran into the Long Lost H again. Weird how we didn't see each other for 4 years and now we see each other and have all these mutual friends. Cahraaazy! Wednesday I took Z to the candy factory for a tour with our Mommy Group. Always a good time. I bought 4 marshmallow eggs, ate one and then the dog ate the rest. Oh well. Thursday I took Z to go skating with my friends Piper and Kim. Great fun but I'm sure I picked up a virus there. Then I went to see Michael Pollan speak on his books The Omnivores Dilemma and In Defense of Food. I went with my friends Bridgette and Kevin. Love those guys. Love Michael Pollan! I highly recommend his books. I'm seriously a food geek! Friday night R and I went to a Gala event for the Utah Board of Realtors with Brad, Billy and Dinnie. We had fun but R ticked me off and it kind of threw off my groove. Oh well. At least I got a pretty new dress out of it. Here we are (minus Billy)

Saturday morning I realized I had definitely picked up some sort of virus, but M had a karate belt test. I'm so proud of the kid! He got his orange belt. He has been very dedicated and works hard, so he certainly deserves it!

I spent the rest of the day feeling pretty crappy. I finally took some ibuprofen and felt much better. We went to celebrate our little friend N's 6th birthday last night. We had a lot of fun. I sooo look forward to getting together with our awesome group of friends on the weekends. I've decided I am very social, just not a planner. Plan it, I'll be there. If I have to plan it, I'll stay home and read. Lazy, I know. I need to work on that.

I just finished Louise Hays Heal Your Life. What a great book. Simple and quick but really profound. My next bookclub read is The Good Earth by Pearl Buck. I'm going to really try to read less non-fiction, less self-help and more uplifting fiction. I'm going to have to wait until Summer to tackle some of the deeper books I've been wanting to read. I just don't have the emotional strength right now.

Today R is off at Man Camp with his friends. They hiked up to a yurt and will hike and snowboard or ski all day, stay over in the yurt and come home in the morning. Doesn't sound to fun to me. I'm home with the kids and a nasty cold. But later we are going to see Horton Hears a Who with Family W. Should be fun. I've taken some meds hoping not to sniffle, cough and blow my nose through the movie. I'm just no good at staying home and feeling sorry for myself. I'm going to breeze right through this cold dangit!

Hope all is well with everyone!

Peace Love and Happiness!