Expectations

I often find myself going overboard to live up to "their" expectations. But who are "they" anyway? I'm not really sure, but "they" seem to be ever present in my mind. I'd rather go overboard than underboard. So I spend too much on gifts, I freak out over potluck dishes and I make sure holidays are overpriced and overstuffed. Why? Where did I get this crazy idea that simple isn't enough?
I read in Martha Beck's book Finding Your North Star that we all have around 5 people that make up our "they". When we are making choices we are thinking about what these people would think. Of course they change over time and we may or may not actually know these people. It is totally possible that you could be making decisions in your real life based on what you think your favorite movie star would think about your choice. Isn't that crazy?
The funny thing is I had a conversation with someone who I realized makes up one of my "they" people this weekend. I'm going overboard to impress this person, and this person is wishing that we could all just relax, simplify, and make our lives easier, more affordable and enjoyable. Because this person suffers from the same need to go overboard! I'm so glad we talked!
So I'm going to do my best in situations that require me to put myself out into the public sphere to stop, figure out what it is I think "they" want me to do, then figure out what I want (now there's a concept!) and simplify! Simplify the cost, the presentation, the effort. Because if we all keep trying to keep up, we actually out do and expectations keep going up, up, up.
With the economy that way it is, I really want to be saving my money and investing it instead of wasting it on pretentions. I'm so glad to know that others feel the same way. I shouldn't care what others think, but I do. But if I'm honest and tell others where my priorites lie, I might just find out they feel the same way. And if they don't, at least they know where I stand, right?