Intentional Living

This is the book I am currently reading. It has really made me rethink a lot of ways I go about my daily life. What could be more simple than understanding yourself better and making some positive changes? I highly recommend it.

Here is a picture of my darling family in Costa Rica in August. Our friends S and R got married on this beach. Isn't it breathtaking?

Vacations often get me thinking about how little we truly need to be content. We took 2 games, some crayons, a couple of matchbox cars and a few DVDs and we were fine for 3 weeks. We lived in a 400 sq ft apartment and never felt cramped. Then we come home to a spacious house that is crammed with junk we think we have to have. It is always a stark contrast and gets me thinking.

Since I've started working I am really lucky to have an office right by a local thrift store that accepts donations. I have been trying to bring a bag of unused or un-needed items to donate everyday. Our closets feel more spacious, the kids room's are starting to feel moderately neat, my kitchen doesn't feel so cramped. And we haven't missed a single thing. My plan is to go through everything before X-mas and just get rid of a good portion of it. Then I can organize the rest.

I am still working on getting my health simplified. Exercise is on hold because I finally had foot surgery to correct the plantar fasciitis that just wouldn't heal. I already feel much better but it will take at least a few more weeks before I can start working up to a decent workout again.

Foodwise I am working on making sensible decisions. I am basically following Bob Greene's Best Life plan. I'm in phase one, day 2, actually. I am focusing on eating a healthy breakfast, not skipping meals, avoiding alcohol, and eventually boosting my activity level. Easy-peasy. I'm also personally working on a simple menu plan that is easy to shop for and prepare, but is mostly fresh, local and organic. The CSA has been awesome. My garden was just a few tomato and pepper plants. The tomatoes died but the peppers have been great. I'm really working on not throwing food away and not spending a fortune as well.

I'm going to try to be diligent about keeping my blog updated. Then I might actually share the address with someone!

Car Free with Kids? and a few Updates

I've been thinking a lot about what it will take to to truly heal our planet and our society. I honestly think going to a car-free or at least car-lite society would be the quickest and maybe largest change we could make towards this goal. I just finished a book called How to Live Well Without Owning a Car by Chris Balish. It was an extremely quick, entertaining and thought provoking read.

He spends a good portion of the book proving that you will definitely save money by not owning a car. I believe that. But in our case, not as much as he makes it out to be. Our 1999 Subaru Forester was paid for in cash 5 years ago. Our insurance is $400 a year. The registration fee is around $100. I pay $80 a month for gas and $80 a year in oil changes. During warm weather I generally wash the car myself, but in the Winter I wash it about4 times including a vacuum which totals around $20. So I'm looking at $660 a year I would be saving. Nothing to scoff at, but he consistently claims it will save me around $8000. One way not having a car would save me money is in shopping expenses. Hard to really total that up though.His next biggest point is that it will give you less to worry about. You don't have to worry about registering it, getting gas, parking, maintenance, traffic, etc. And I buy that. I'm just not sure that figuring alternate transportation would be any less stressful for me.

The thing that irritated me however, is something I find common in environmental and simplify you life type books. He glosses over how a family might be able to do this in the very last chapter and gives it all of 4 pages . He starts off with all the reasons a family might find this difficult: sports practices, lessons, doctor appointments and the like. Then he basically just says that people in Oregon have done it and that it will save you money. No list of tips or practical ways to integrate car-free living into your life.

I find that if you have made the choice to have children, and happen to also be interested in simplicity, sustainability, or environmental issues, you are pretty much on your own to figure it out. There don't seem to be any gurus out there for people like me. There are blogs which leads me to believe that there is a decent size population of people who have children who also want to lessen their impact on the earth. I'm grateful that I at least know there are people like me and that I'm not totally on my own. Most of my friends give lip service to the idea but don't plan on making many changes.

When we moved to our current home 2 years ago it was everything I wanted. It is big, around 3400 square feet. It is in an established, high value area. The public schools are the best in the state. It has an incredible view almost 360 degrees. I look over the Salt Lake valley at the Great Salt Lake and the city, I also have a gorgeous view of Mt. Olympus. Across the street from me is mountain and we get all manner of wild life marching past our front door. The neighborhood is diverse and fairly liberal and our neighbors are wonderful. We live on a cul-de-sac. And there is practically nothing within walking distance.

I honestly do love this house, and my neighborhood and our schools. It is also a great investment. But our house payment is definitely a stretch. If I could do it over, I would pick a more walkable neighborhood. I think this is the only way a family could go car-free. Our good friend is "flipping" a house about 2 miles from us. It is smaller and older, but he has redone it completely. It is within easy walking distance from: a park, a library, a youth rec center, the firestation, several gas stations, 2 dentists, a preschool/daycare that also picks up from our elementary school, a vet, several restaurants and cafes, a convenience store, a drug store, a grocery store, several fast food joints, a dry cleaners, a shoe repair, a bank, and 2 strip malls. I could. We could feasibly sell our house and make a lateral move to the other property. The other great thing about it is that it has a large yard that would be perfect for a large garden and city chickens. But alas, R won't even consider it. He loves this house and I can understand why.

So my next best option is to figure out ways to go car-lite. Even though we live on some seriously steep hills, I finally feel that both my kids are capable of walking them. I look forward to the day they can bike them. Talk about fighting childhood obesity. M's school is just under a mile away. R drops him off which is on the way to work, but we should be walking home. The store is within walking distance as well. The big area I could improve upon is combining errands when I take Z to his preschool. It is about 5 miles away. I should plan on heading that way and staying that way until I pick him up. My gym is right there. So is a major shopping area. I could easily park my car by his school and either walk to the gym or walk to do my errands. That would cut my mileage for sure and give me some exercise. I also should figure out some bus routes for places that are just a little too far to walk, like the library. We could easily hop on the bus by M's school and then walk home from the bus stop. The biggest obstacle, and he makes this point in the book, is that with a car in the garage, it is just too easy to depend on it. If you don't have it, you are forced to make the change.

I'm going to set a goal for reducing our mileage each week. I'll be posting updates.

Potty Training

I'm feeling like a complete failure. DS#2, otherwise known as Z, is NOT potty trained. Why? No really, I'm asking, WHY!?! I've tried googling late potty training but there really isn't much out there for a freakin' FOUR YEAR OLD!! Everything assumes I'm working with a moderately verbal 2 year old. Well 2 years ago, I was. Everything else is for mentally disabled adults. Maybe that's the theory I need to working with here. Seriously! Changing poopy 4 year old pants is definitely NOT SIMPLE!! Never mind that I'm to the point of getting quite angry every time there is a big old nasty "accident" (is it an accident if he NEVER poops in the potty? I think when he does make it to the throne, THAT is the accident!). Yes, he has pooped on the potty before. 4 times to be exact. I know because I've got the sticker chart to prove it. And if you're wondering, he isn't all that great with #1 either. And to put my frustration in perspective, he can ride a 2 wheeler without training wheels!

So far our strategy has been to hold back on big boy activities until he decides to act like a big boy. Things like playing on the soccer team, taking ski lessons, etc. Doesn't seem to make an impact.

I guess it is time to get back to some serious basics here. I'm going for immediate gratification. Every willing "try" (4 minutes of sitting time required) gets an M&M, every successful pee-pee gets a handful of them. Every poo-poo gets a Hot Wheel, or small tractor, or something of the like. When he gets to 1o successful poo-poos he gets the big John Deere tractor and plow that has been taking up valuable counter space in the bathroom for freaking EVER!

What about "accidents"? Not sure. I have tried taking away TV for accidents. Unfortunately it is really hard to stick to since the rest of the fam wants to watch their Deal or No Deal. I think I am going to remove the upstairs TV and send everyone else downstairs. Then if he has an accident, I can make sure he stays upstairs with me.

The good Dr. suggest I give him a fair amount of mineral oil just before bed for the next 2 weeks to make sure when he wakes up he HAS to go, and it will be easy. To be fair, the little dude is rather on the constipated side. I am going to start that tonight. I just HAVE to remember to make him sit first thing in the morning.

I'm up against the clock here. He starts summer camp in 10 weeks and under no circumstances can he be pooping his pants on any sort of regular basis. So it is time to get down to brass tacks here (whatever the hell that means).

Is it too Much to Ask?

So yesterday I went to get my birth control pill refill. Simple for me right now is no more kids! Anyway, I tell the person at the "fill prescriptions" window, "I don't really need another dispenser, just the pills" he says "okay" and walks away. Fast forward 30 minutes. I head to the "pick up prescriptions" window and they have the dispenser and pill pack sitting by the register. I say to the pick-up guy, "I don't really need a dispenser, do I have to have one?" He gives me a look and says, "if you don't want it, throw it away" and I say, "but that's the point, I don't want to and I already have several". And then he gives me a oh, you're one of those looks and says, just to irritate me I'm sure, "I can throw it away then" to which I just say"whatever". He throws it in the bag and staples it shut.

Why, oh why is it so difficult to reduce waste?! Shouldn't they just say, "do you need a new dispenser?" really, wouldn't that be more economical? I am just astounded by the amount of trash in my life. It overwhelms me. My recycling bin is crammed full by the end of two weeks. My garbage is never full after a week. I just can't believe how many people don't get it.

Do you want to know what else isn't simple? Getting all gung-ho about getting your masters degree, telling the whole world about it, and then burning out at midterm. I have an Economics midterm tomorrow that I really can't imagine I will pass. I look at the damn graphs and it looks like Greek to me. It just doesn't sink in. Then I remember why I didn't go into Nutrition in the first place. I don't get equations and formulas and graphs.

Sure, if I apply myself to the point of tears and a migraine, sometimes I have the great light bulb above the head moment. But sometimes I don't. Especially if I just don't give a shit. Actually I think this class could be interesting, but I'm taking the online version and I hate it.

So I am going to fail my midterm, make sure I do really well on the easy parts of the class, try harder at the final and hope for a C. I'm going to continue to focus on my Nutrition class and try for an A. Then I'm going to take the summer off and re-evaluate why it is I think I want a masters in Nutrition. Do I really want to be a Registered Dietitian? Do I just want to be able to say I have a Masters Degree. What do I really want to be when I grow up? I can't believe I still don't know.

"Green" and Happy? Is it possible?

Is it better to live with your head in the sand? I wonder sometimes. After I saw an Inconvenient Truth last summer (I went alone, no one else would go. I cried through the whole thing) I have struggled with a bit of depression. The idea of the natural world being a hostile environment for my children and the idea that they very well might not be having children of their own has left me in a state of chronic stress.
I love reading blogs. Some of my favorites focus on the climate crisis. But I always end up with a knot in my stomach afterward. I've also read a ton of books and have several more right now from the library. I'm thinking about taking a moratorium on worrying about the state of the whole friggin' planet. It's making me sick. So I'm taking them back. They will always be there if I decide to read them.
Does that mean I don't care? Not at all! I care deeply!! I just feel like I know enough right now about what I should be doing. I know we have likely reached peak oil. I know we have likely hit the tipping point. I know the aqua firs are drying up. I totally get that cars have really just got to go. I think I've gathered enough info and it is time to focus that energy on doing instead of worrying. I can't fix it but I can do my part.
In many areas of my life I have decided to start doing instead of thinking. I've also decided that I need to focus on the good things in life. They are so many. By constantly thinking doom and gloom I feel like I've lost more than half a year of my life. I want to be happy and green at the same time. Is it possible?

CSA

So I signed up for a CSA. The farm is East Farms. http://www.eastfarms.net/about.htm is the link. It was $185 for a half share of approximately 20 weeks of fresh produce. The pick up is about a mile away from my house. I'm thinking I could easily walk there with my jogging stroller and walk home. I'm not sure which day my pick up is. I'm really excited, though it doesn't start until May or June. If you haven't heard about CSAs here is what their website says:

What is Community Supported Agriculture (CSA)?
CSA is a partnership of mutual commitment between a farm and a community of supporters which provides a direct link between the production and consumption of food. Supporters cover a farm's yearly operating budget by purchasing a share of the season's harvest. CSA members make a commitment to support the farm throughout the season, and assume the costs, risks and bounty of growing food along with the farmer or grower.Members help pay for seeds, fertilizer, water, equipment maintenance, labor, etc. In return, the farm provides, to the best of its ability, a healthy supply of seasonal fresh produce throughout the growing season.Becoming a member creates a responsible relationship between people and the food they eat, the land on which it is grown and those who grow it.This mutually supportive relationship between local farmers, growers and community members helps create an economically stable farm operation in which members are assured the highest quality produce, often at below retail prices. In return, farmers and growers are guaranteed a reliable market for a diverse selection of crops.

Well, okay, I have to admit I am truly a delinquent blogger. But NO MORE! I have a lot to say and since no one around here really wants to here it I will just spew it all out into cyber space for any poor sap that unintentionally happens into it.

I'm doing extremely well with my first resolution, to walk 1/2 hour every day. I'm up to 45 minutes now and have signed up for the Salt Lake Marathon 1/2 marathon walk April 21st. I'm really excited! I truly love to walk! I have purchased 4 Leslie Sansone walk at home DVDs and I love them. Yes, she's a little too perky and normally I distrust people who are just so damn happy. But she has big thighs, and for that I love her. Plus they are pretty fun to do. They remind me of doing aerobics in college. Plus I can do them whenever I want.

The other two resolutions, um, not so much. But I still PLAN to do them.
So am I getting skinnier as a result of all this walking? Maybe a little bit. But here comes the simplify part-- I don't really care. I am done worrying about being super skinny and perfect. Sure, most my friends are magazine worthy. Oh well. I am done worrying about trying to ever be that hot. I'm me. And I'm a good me. Sure we have a big beach vacation coming up in August--I still don't care.

I just finished reading Intuitive Eating and I love it! It makes soooo much sense. I am just going to focus on eating normal, for me. I'm going to focus on quality food and really really enjoying it and stopping when I'm full. Sounds pretty simple, eh. I will probably have more to say about Intuitive Eating as time goes by, I haven't been this excited about NOT dieting since, well, ever.
I've also decided to dress myself in fashionable for me clothes and stop waiting until.... I deserve to look good. I maybe 20 pounds overweight, but I'm still really quite pretty if I do say so myself.

I can't really think of anything simpler than just being myself and enjoying my life regardless of my weight.

Happy New Year!! I'm kicking around my New Year's resolutions. I haven't finalized what I'd like them to be just yet but they are all focused on Simplifying my Life and making sure I am true to myself and priorities. I know I've got to think small, I just don't have the energy for a major overhaul just now. Some I know will be on the list are: Walk 1/2 an hour every single day, use canvas bags, practice random acts of kindness towards my hubby. Other ideas include: drink one large glass of water before drinking coffee in the morning, have a small garden, quit eating after 7, have more fun! I will be posting my final list soon.

Excess

Excess. If I had to sum up in one word the source of my issues the word would be excess. Let's build on my 3 biggest issues, being too fat, in debt and disorganized.

Too FAT
Well it's pretty obvious. Excess calories creates excess body fat. So I've been thinking about where my excess lies. I love fruits, whole grains, and veggies. I could be a most the time vegetarian if the family hadn't completely revolted. I don't generally even eat that much chocolate, though I do LOVE chocolate. I think I am drinking my calories. Starbuck's and alcohol to be specific. After having a big night out recently that went on into the wee hours of the morning I realized I drank at least a 6 pack. If each beer had 200 calories, I easily drank a days worth of calories in beer. Never mind the dinner prior and the late night snack attach that resulted. So I have decided to not drink on the weekdays. I've also decided to quit getting drunk. I feel so cruddy afterwords. Another excess is fast food. Z and I grab lunch out most days. Can't be great for either one of us. So I am also going to say fast food only on Wednesday to Mommy Group and Saturday (for M). And last but not least R and I have decided not to eat after 7 pm unless we are out for something special. That should curb boredom eating.
And to really put a twist on things I told R this morning that I've budgeted $100 for each of us to buy gifts for each other at Christmas. If I haven't lost 10 lbs by Christmas morning my gift goes back the very next day and $100 goes to the Republican Party. I would rather die!!!

Debt
Obviously debt is spending in excess of what you earn. I vow to faithfully use my Financial Peace wallet to track all spending. I also vow to use my YNAB spreadsheet to budget and keep myself accountable. No new debt!!!

Clutter
Clutter is excess stuff or necessary stuff that doesn't have a system. So I am all set up on Flylady and vow to organize and declutter 15 minutes a day. I also vow to not bring home new crap. There are things I want and need. There are millions of things I don't.

So there you have it. I am editing myself. No more excess. Enough is really enough.

Debt.
It's a four letter word to be sure.
R and I have been in debt before. I came into the marriage with $10K in credit card debt. I fell into the typical trap in college when everyone was offering me credit cards. Never mind I worked 4 hours a day making $5 an hour. R had no debt. He even owned a house and was making extra mortgage payments because he had several renters. But he had an investment deal he just couldn't pass by. $8K for untold fortunes in the future. So we took out a home equity loan. Then we needed replacement vehicles. Pretty soon we had $30K. We would pay some down and then buy some more. Finally we sold our house and paid off the debt with equity.
After that we were pretty much as anti-debt as you can be. I remember feeling so proud when we refinanced and the loan officer could not believe that we had zero debts. No car payments, no credit cards. It felt so good.
Even when I quit my decent paying job and we survived on R's small earnings the first year he sold real estate, we had no debt. Then he was doing really well and we had money in savings. Quite a bit.
And then another investment opportunity. This time it was a smart investment. This time I was as excited as he was and felt elated that we had the money set aside. Plus I was sure that we would have our savings back up in no time. I'm still glad we invested the money.
But I didn't count on R not earning as much for the next year. We are the typical house poor Americans. Our house payment is way too much of our monthly expenses. But I still think our house is a great investment as well. It just puts us in an area where we see the Jones' way out ahead of us, and sometimes that is hard. Sometimes I get the wants really bad. And somehow we ended up in debt again.
Debt complicates your life. Debt makes you second guess going to the doctor when you think your child might have strep. Debt makes going out to dinner on your 10th anniversary bitter sweet because you know you should be putting that money toward paying down the damn credit cards. Debt makes your husband mentally calculate every dime you spend while your family is in Disneyland. Debt sells your future and taints your present. Debt is hell.
I am proud to say that Ris working hard and doing great for our family. Yesterday we paid off a BIG chunk. Feels sooo good. Good-bye Citibank. Good-bye American Express. Hello light at the end of the tunnel.
We have big dreams for our future. They include a lot of time in Costa Rica. They cars that aren't breaking down every other month. They include investments and passive income. They include a large cushion for security. They include college funds for the monkeys. They don't include being owned by credit card companies. They don't include debt.