So Z has been telling me for ages that he has $24.41 in his coin jar. I keep promising him I will take it to the bank to have it turned into dollars. This has been going on for over a month now.
So yesterday I take the boys to Target to get underwear and socks (waaayyy too exciting, I know). Z starts in that he wants a Star Wars Lego set. I remind him that he has no more money in his allowance envelope since he spent it all at the rock shop a few weeks back, but I do owe him $10 for this week's allowance, minus $2 for savings, giving him a grand total of $8. Not nearly enough for the Lego set he has in mind. He reminds me that he has $24.41 in coins and if I will front him the money I can keep the coins. I really don't mind buying Legos because I think they are just about the perfect toy (except barefoot in the middle of the night), so I agree. He picks one out, asks if we are going straight to pay, then proceeds to nag me for the next 10 minutes as I drag him over to get R some underwear and then through the Christmas decor just because I want to. As soon as he gets home he builds it and then of course tells me he wishes he had another Lego set.
Fast forward to 10 minutes ago when I decide that I will take his change jar and add it to mine. I look in, and it is quite full...of pennies. Then I remember that some time last summer he showed me how to make my money "bigger" by putting the penny half way in, so the automatic counting mechanism goes off, then pulling it out to do it over and over again. I tried explaining how it didn't really work because he really still only had the one penny. He seemed to not get that at all, I decided it was hopeless and we moved on. Until this afternoon. Looking at this large pile of pennies (and a few Costa Rican coins) I use my exceptional reasoning skills and conclude that there is no way he has $24.41. Being bored and a huge procrastinator, I decide to add them, one by one, to my magical coin counting jar. Yeah, I feel smart. I'm writing this with coin blackened fingers and I'm just over $3 richer.
Of course I'm not going to say anything. Money is still pretty much lost on Z. But you bet your bottom dollar that I won't fall for that again.
11.09.2009
11.04.2009
Just Kill Me Now
So I've been workin' out. Liftin' weights and such. (don't ask about the Sarah Palin accent, not sure where it came from). I have a new workout partner who we shall call LESLIE!!! Well Ms. Leslie is one tuff beeyatch (not said with malice, mind you, instead spoken in pain). Each week I drag my sorry out-of-shape ass to the local gym and secretly pray that Leslie has met with some sort of issue that will keep her from her killing-G-with-a-workout duties. Not like she got ran over by a bus issue, just maybe that she had to meet with a client, or had a flat tire, or the swine-flu. Nothing MAJOR people. But no, she shows up regularly to punish me.
Now you may be asking "G, why on earth would you pick Ms. Leslie as your workout partner if you feel this way"? To which I would reply, "Because I'm VAIN for hell sakes! I want to have a rockin' MILF bod. DUH!" And Leslie is strong and not wussy and won't let me be wussy and won't skip out on the workout because Einstein's is calling our name. Leslie wants to workout. I've never had a workout partner that actually wants to really workout. And because I'm also SCARED, I don't dare stand her up either. And so every Tuesday and Thursday I go, with trepidation in me heart, to work my muscles (said Muskles).
Well, yesterday way like any other Tuesday. Leslie: you ready for some legs? Me: isn't Tuesday arms? (Because unlike a regular girl, I actually have a stronger upper body than lower body. Can you say HE/SHE?) Leslie: We haven't done legs in awhile, so let's do legs. (Leslie loves legs. She is the kind of gal that kicks most guys asses on the uphill climb mountain biking). Me (in a tiny little defeated voice): um, ok. So she shows the the 1st circuit (because there is always more than one), and by the end of the first of 3 times doing the 1st circuit, I'm cramping. Leslie has powered thru 2 times by the time I am hobbling thru the 1st. But I manage to make it through all 3 (CONFESSION: I only did 10 reps on the 1 legged squats. Shhhh.). Then she shows me circuit numero dos. Calves. OK, I can do calves. More hamstrings. Greaaat. never mind that I already have shooty burny pains from the back of my knees up thru to the top of my ass. Let's do some MORE! Then some abs. Normally I hate abs the most, but not today. Hamstrings definitely win. I start with abs. OK I am seeing some improvements in strength there. Then I muscle thru the calves. No problemo! Then the hamstrings. Again. I barely make it through 10 on each set while Leslie actually LAUGHS AT ME! Or with me. I'm not sure. Anyway. I figure we have to be done right? I can barely walk. But nooooooo. One more circuit. I'm figuring abs and telling myself, "You can do some abs, it will be fine". About this time I also start thinking about tapping various spots on my face because I've been reading about this stress reduction technique where you tap all around your body and tell yourself stuff while you think about your issues and supposedly, poof!, you don't have an issue anymore. EFT or something. You know the guy that says, "I CAN MAKE YOU THIN!". But I'm too self-conscious, so I don't. We head into the group room and she pulls out a step and two risers. OK, Leslie, what are you up to? And then she tells me, you guessed it, one more set of, all together now, HAMSTRINGS! I honestly thought about walking out right then. Sort of like my disastrous Mexican bikini wax (oh! rojo!) where I wanted to jump off the table and run out of the "spa" screaming with half a bush wax while trying to put on my pants, but didn't, and instead just went to my happy place until it was over. Pretty much just like that. So I do the first set. Ouch. Then we do some sit-ups, for which I am actually grateful for. Then set number two. This time Leslie "forgets" that she is helping me place the weights between my feet and starts on her own set. I think, "I can do it!" flop around like a fish out of water for a minute trying to get the weights positioned correctly, do so, then attempt to propel my body forward to the right spot on the step. Instead I spaztically throw myself forward all of about 2 inches and land half on the step, half off with a loud "umph!" at which point Leslie starts giggling and can't really stop while she helps me again. We finish up and I gingerly walk out of the gym saying, "see you Thursday!".
You know when you realize that you are so sore now, that by tomorrow you will be crippled, and the next day may just possibly be even worse? That's how I felt all day yesterday. My legs actually collapsed under me in Kohls. Luckily I caught myself and didn't sprawl on the floor. By 8:30 I was ready for bed. I would have taken a bath, but the Z-man used all the hot water for his bath. Inconsiderate much?
I woke up this morning pretty much as expected-broken. I need to paint but it just ain't gonna happen today. I want to Zumba but I'm not sure I can. I dread having to pee because lowering myself to the toilet is such an ordeal. I just want to sit. I know it doesn't make much sense, but I'm going to go take a hot bath with epsom salts and hope that my muscles loosen up enough to go to Zumba. If not, I may just find a stack of books and read in the sun all day. It is such a beautiful day. Even my hardcore workout husband would understand because he has been just this sore before.
Oh Leslie. I love ya. I really do. But I'm saying it for the record: I AM ONLY DOING 12 REPS UNTIL DECEMBER. Self-preservation mode has kicked in. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to hobble off to the bath. Is it too early for wine? Yeah? Fine, I'll take some green tea instead.
Now you may be asking "G, why on earth would you pick Ms. Leslie as your workout partner if you feel this way"? To which I would reply, "Because I'm VAIN for hell sakes! I want to have a rockin' MILF bod. DUH!" And Leslie is strong and not wussy and won't let me be wussy and won't skip out on the workout because Einstein's is calling our name. Leslie wants to workout. I've never had a workout partner that actually wants to really workout. And because I'm also SCARED, I don't dare stand her up either. And so every Tuesday and Thursday I go, with trepidation in me heart, to work my muscles (said Muskles).
Well, yesterday way like any other Tuesday. Leslie: you ready for some legs? Me: isn't Tuesday arms? (Because unlike a regular girl, I actually have a stronger upper body than lower body. Can you say HE/SHE?) Leslie: We haven't done legs in awhile, so let's do legs. (Leslie loves legs. She is the kind of gal that kicks most guys asses on the uphill climb mountain biking). Me (in a tiny little defeated voice): um, ok. So she shows the the 1st circuit (because there is always more than one), and by the end of the first of 3 times doing the 1st circuit, I'm cramping. Leslie has powered thru 2 times by the time I am hobbling thru the 1st. But I manage to make it through all 3 (CONFESSION: I only did 10 reps on the 1 legged squats. Shhhh.). Then she shows me circuit numero dos. Calves. OK, I can do calves. More hamstrings. Greaaat. never mind that I already have shooty burny pains from the back of my knees up thru to the top of my ass. Let's do some MORE! Then some abs. Normally I hate abs the most, but not today. Hamstrings definitely win. I start with abs. OK I am seeing some improvements in strength there. Then I muscle thru the calves. No problemo! Then the hamstrings. Again. I barely make it through 10 on each set while Leslie actually LAUGHS AT ME! Or with me. I'm not sure. Anyway. I figure we have to be done right? I can barely walk. But nooooooo. One more circuit. I'm figuring abs and telling myself, "You can do some abs, it will be fine". About this time I also start thinking about tapping various spots on my face because I've been reading about this stress reduction technique where you tap all around your body and tell yourself stuff while you think about your issues and supposedly, poof!, you don't have an issue anymore. EFT or something. You know the guy that says, "I CAN MAKE YOU THIN!". But I'm too self-conscious, so I don't. We head into the group room and she pulls out a step and two risers. OK, Leslie, what are you up to? And then she tells me, you guessed it, one more set of, all together now, HAMSTRINGS! I honestly thought about walking out right then. Sort of like my disastrous Mexican bikini wax (oh! rojo!) where I wanted to jump off the table and run out of the "spa" screaming with half a bush wax while trying to put on my pants, but didn't, and instead just went to my happy place until it was over. Pretty much just like that. So I do the first set. Ouch. Then we do some sit-ups, for which I am actually grateful for. Then set number two. This time Leslie "forgets" that she is helping me place the weights between my feet and starts on her own set. I think, "I can do it!" flop around like a fish out of water for a minute trying to get the weights positioned correctly, do so, then attempt to propel my body forward to the right spot on the step. Instead I spaztically throw myself forward all of about 2 inches and land half on the step, half off with a loud "umph!" at which point Leslie starts giggling and can't really stop while she helps me again. We finish up and I gingerly walk out of the gym saying, "see you Thursday!".
You know when you realize that you are so sore now, that by tomorrow you will be crippled, and the next day may just possibly be even worse? That's how I felt all day yesterday. My legs actually collapsed under me in Kohls. Luckily I caught myself and didn't sprawl on the floor. By 8:30 I was ready for bed. I would have taken a bath, but the Z-man used all the hot water for his bath. Inconsiderate much?
I woke up this morning pretty much as expected-broken. I need to paint but it just ain't gonna happen today. I want to Zumba but I'm not sure I can. I dread having to pee because lowering myself to the toilet is such an ordeal. I just want to sit. I know it doesn't make much sense, but I'm going to go take a hot bath with epsom salts and hope that my muscles loosen up enough to go to Zumba. If not, I may just find a stack of books and read in the sun all day. It is such a beautiful day. Even my hardcore workout husband would understand because he has been just this sore before.
Oh Leslie. I love ya. I really do. But I'm saying it for the record: I AM ONLY DOING 12 REPS UNTIL DECEMBER. Self-preservation mode has kicked in. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to hobble off to the bath. Is it too early for wine? Yeah? Fine, I'll take some green tea instead.
10.19.2009
Remember Me?
I haven't posted in ages. Not sure why. So I guess I better give some updates.
First of all, I'm sure there aren't a lot of people reading this because I changed the name of the blog to make it all a little more private. So if you are...Hi!
What have I been up to? Well...we're remodeling the kitchen. It started with me just repainting the cabinets. Then while I was doing that we ripped out the nasty carpet (carpet in a dining room-GROSS) with the plan of me just painting the subfloor until we can afford hardwood floors. Then we got a line on a granite sale and bought two slabs for the counters. Since we already tore out the flooring and were going to tear off the counters, we decided to move the cabinets around a bit. Instead of a U shaped kitchen we now have an island. So right now my kitchen is a total wreck, everything is out of the island cabinets and off the counters. Tomorrow we rip off the remaining counters and remove the sink. Wednesday we will be getting the new granite and a shiny new 9" deep stainless steel sink. I can't wait! Then I can finish painting the cabinets, put everything away, and start on painting the floor.
What else...well the monkeys are both in school all day now. I've been revelling in the time ALONE. It's nice to have them gone because when they come home I'm excited to see them and be with them. During the day I have been doing too much shopping. I've also been cleaning more. And I rejoined the gym and have been lifting weights with L (who is very strong and kicks my ass every single time) as well as going to Zumba classes. Love, love, love the Zumba classes. My friend S teaches some of them. She is a hoot and even though I suck at shaking my hips in any sort of rhythmic, intentional way, it is fun and I love going. I am getting better if I do say so myself. And I've been getting the yard ready for winter. I've also been volunteering at the school a bit and helping R with marketing. It all keeps me very busy but in a happy way. I love this phase of my life.
I've also been doing a lot of research on ways to help M with his OCD. He has also started having some tics which isn't unusual for people with OCD. Somehow they go hand in hand. Because there aren't really any good medicines for tics, and there really isn't anything that can be done with therapy to help them go away, I've been looking at alternative therapies, especially diet therapy and supplements and herbs. And there is a ton of information out there! So we've been tweaking our diet and taking more supplements and I can see some positive changes already. I think regardless of the effect it has on M, it is good for all of us to eat more whole foods, especially fruits and veggies, and to cut out the artificial crap. M's health issues have definitely made this a priority lately. So there is the silver lining I guess.
Freddy the cat went missing a few days back for just over 24 hours. We were all worried when he stayed out all night, but when the neighbor mentioned the HUGE coyote hanging out across the street, I was sure he was a coyote late night snack. By the time he did come home I had spent the morning bawling and feeling sick. Needless to say we were all soooo happy to see him when he showed up. He won't be going outside again until next Summer. He hates being stuck inside but that is just too damn bad!
I'm getting excited for P's baby girl to arrive! One more month. I seriously adore other people's babies. My new nephew C is soooo cute! I babysat last week and it was actually fun to cuddle, rock, walk and pat him when he was crying. So sweet! Babies are truly amazing and one of the great joys of life. Seriously. They are miraculous.
The boys are doing great. M is in 4th grade and doing well in school. His teacher says she really enjoys him and finds him very interesting. He is getting tall and more pre-teen every day. He barely ever wants to cuddle, which sucks because he has always been a world class cuddler. He seems to have a good group of friends in school that accept him, tics, OCD and all. He also has a few close friends that he spends quite a bit of time with. He is a purple belt in karate and has joined the tournament team. Two nights a week he spend almost 3 hours doing karate, which I think is awesome. I really enjoy watching him do his various events. He is also a Weeblos in the Boy Scouts and is pretty jazzed about it. I think scouts is a great way for boys to find self-esteem through emerging competence. He just thinks it's fun. He's gotten quite brave. I was really proud of him at Lagoon last week because he did every single ride he has been scared to go on. That has to feel good inside. And as always he is reading a ton, soaking up random facts, talking non-stop and cracking me up. He's awesome.
Z is in 1st. He is doing great. I expected him to be over it rather quickly, but the school work comes easily to him and I think he enjoys the social aspect. By the weekend though he is ready to be home, playing with his vehicles and doing his own thing. He has a group he plays with regularly at recess and a few friends in the neighborhood he plays with as well. The wonderful thing is that M and his friends have finally accepted Z and let him play pretty much all the time. Over all M and Z are doing really well together and we have almost no fighting. A year ago I wouldn't have believed it could happen. As always Z is way into tractor's and all things construction. For Christmas he would like a child-size forklift. Too bad they don't make them! He is always busy building something and quite happy to play alone, outside with his toys for hours. He is playing soccer and is really good at it. He played flag football last Summer and loved it. He is also such a great helper and a total sweetheart.
R is working his butt off and I think doing an amazing job in our economy and real estate market. While is total volume of sales has been lower this year, we have done much better about not going into debt and I'm proud of us for that. When the market recovers, I think he will really take off. He is still diligently working out almost every morning and mountain biking whenever he gets a chance. He looks really great. I can confidently say that he is in the best shape of his life. He is definitely aging very well! He has also really come into his own as a father and I am lucky to have him as my hubby! I think we balance each other very well.
So there is a bunch of stuff on Family V. Of course there is more, but I will save that for another day!
First of all, I'm sure there aren't a lot of people reading this because I changed the name of the blog to make it all a little more private. So if you are...Hi!
What have I been up to? Well...we're remodeling the kitchen. It started with me just repainting the cabinets. Then while I was doing that we ripped out the nasty carpet (carpet in a dining room-GROSS) with the plan of me just painting the subfloor until we can afford hardwood floors. Then we got a line on a granite sale and bought two slabs for the counters. Since we already tore out the flooring and were going to tear off the counters, we decided to move the cabinets around a bit. Instead of a U shaped kitchen we now have an island. So right now my kitchen is a total wreck, everything is out of the island cabinets and off the counters. Tomorrow we rip off the remaining counters and remove the sink. Wednesday we will be getting the new granite and a shiny new 9" deep stainless steel sink. I can't wait! Then I can finish painting the cabinets, put everything away, and start on painting the floor.
What else...well the monkeys are both in school all day now. I've been revelling in the time ALONE. It's nice to have them gone because when they come home I'm excited to see them and be with them. During the day I have been doing too much shopping. I've also been cleaning more. And I rejoined the gym and have been lifting weights with L (who is very strong and kicks my ass every single time) as well as going to Zumba classes. Love, love, love the Zumba classes. My friend S teaches some of them. She is a hoot and even though I suck at shaking my hips in any sort of rhythmic, intentional way, it is fun and I love going. I am getting better if I do say so myself. And I've been getting the yard ready for winter. I've also been volunteering at the school a bit and helping R with marketing. It all keeps me very busy but in a happy way. I love this phase of my life.
I've also been doing a lot of research on ways to help M with his OCD. He has also started having some tics which isn't unusual for people with OCD. Somehow they go hand in hand. Because there aren't really any good medicines for tics, and there really isn't anything that can be done with therapy to help them go away, I've been looking at alternative therapies, especially diet therapy and supplements and herbs. And there is a ton of information out there! So we've been tweaking our diet and taking more supplements and I can see some positive changes already. I think regardless of the effect it has on M, it is good for all of us to eat more whole foods, especially fruits and veggies, and to cut out the artificial crap. M's health issues have definitely made this a priority lately. So there is the silver lining I guess.
Freddy the cat went missing a few days back for just over 24 hours. We were all worried when he stayed out all night, but when the neighbor mentioned the HUGE coyote hanging out across the street, I was sure he was a coyote late night snack. By the time he did come home I had spent the morning bawling and feeling sick. Needless to say we were all soooo happy to see him when he showed up. He won't be going outside again until next Summer. He hates being stuck inside but that is just too damn bad!
I'm getting excited for P's baby girl to arrive! One more month. I seriously adore other people's babies. My new nephew C is soooo cute! I babysat last week and it was actually fun to cuddle, rock, walk and pat him when he was crying. So sweet! Babies are truly amazing and one of the great joys of life. Seriously. They are miraculous.
The boys are doing great. M is in 4th grade and doing well in school. His teacher says she really enjoys him and finds him very interesting. He is getting tall and more pre-teen every day. He barely ever wants to cuddle, which sucks because he has always been a world class cuddler. He seems to have a good group of friends in school that accept him, tics, OCD and all. He also has a few close friends that he spends quite a bit of time with. He is a purple belt in karate and has joined the tournament team. Two nights a week he spend almost 3 hours doing karate, which I think is awesome. I really enjoy watching him do his various events. He is also a Weeblos in the Boy Scouts and is pretty jazzed about it. I think scouts is a great way for boys to find self-esteem through emerging competence. He just thinks it's fun. He's gotten quite brave. I was really proud of him at Lagoon last week because he did every single ride he has been scared to go on. That has to feel good inside. And as always he is reading a ton, soaking up random facts, talking non-stop and cracking me up. He's awesome.
Z is in 1st. He is doing great. I expected him to be over it rather quickly, but the school work comes easily to him and I think he enjoys the social aspect. By the weekend though he is ready to be home, playing with his vehicles and doing his own thing. He has a group he plays with regularly at recess and a few friends in the neighborhood he plays with as well. The wonderful thing is that M and his friends have finally accepted Z and let him play pretty much all the time. Over all M and Z are doing really well together and we have almost no fighting. A year ago I wouldn't have believed it could happen. As always Z is way into tractor's and all things construction. For Christmas he would like a child-size forklift. Too bad they don't make them! He is always busy building something and quite happy to play alone, outside with his toys for hours. He is playing soccer and is really good at it. He played flag football last Summer and loved it. He is also such a great helper and a total sweetheart.
R is working his butt off and I think doing an amazing job in our economy and real estate market. While is total volume of sales has been lower this year, we have done much better about not going into debt and I'm proud of us for that. When the market recovers, I think he will really take off. He is still diligently working out almost every morning and mountain biking whenever he gets a chance. He looks really great. I can confidently say that he is in the best shape of his life. He is definitely aging very well! He has also really come into his own as a father and I am lucky to have him as my hubby! I think we balance each other very well.
So there is a bunch of stuff on Family V. Of course there is more, but I will save that for another day!
8.29.2009
The Giver by Lois Lowry
The Giver by Lois LowryMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
what a thought provoking book! it really makes you think about how the duality of our existence creates the contrasts that create meaning. life without emotion would be almost pointless! it also makes you think about personal choice and consequences, the lessons to be learned from our mistakes and how having these freedoms inherently means that there will be suffering and life will be very unfair in some regards but it still better than a life where everything is predetermined. very much reminds me of the LDS concept of the two plans presented in the pre-existence. it also had a lot of Christ symbolism, especially in that Jonas was the chosen one to bear the burden for all and the despair and loneliness in being the only one able to understand the human condition in its entirety. I really enjoyed the book. The end wrapped up a little to quickly and vaguely for me, but it certainly left me thinking about our freedom to shape our own life and the what that means for me personally, but more interestingly, what that means for all of mankind. But I still wonder, why didn't baby Gabe sleep? What did he know or what was his ability?
View all my reviews >>
7.13.2009
Simple Living: One Couple's Search for a Better Life
Simple Living: One Couple's Search for a Better Life by Frank LeveringMy review
rating: 5 of 5 stars
I really liked this book even though I wasn't sure I was going to. I expected another list of ways to simplify, but instead it is really their story of how they simplified their lives and the values they believe go along with a simple life. I wasn't sure I cared about their journey, but she is a thoughtful, interesting writer and by the end of the first chapter I DID care. By the end of the book you almost feel as if you know them, and wish you did. I've always enjoyed her PBS program, this gave me a new appreciation for Wanda and Frank. The chapter that really got under my skin was the one on volunteering. It's something I really would like to spend more time doing, alone, and as a family.
View all my reviews.
Ladder of Years (a book review)
Ladder of Years by Anne TylerMy review
rating: 5 of 5 stars
This book has really stuck with me over the years. The idea of walking away from it all, regaining the self, and then integrating the two lives...i find it more compelling as time goes by. It's an age old predicament i think many women (probably some men too) can identify with. Who am I without this husband, these children, this life? Who wold I have become without it? What do I really want out of life and can I have the best of all worlds. I really should reread it because I think about it when I'm having one of those days.
View all my reviews.
7.10.2009
Our Family Rules
Most families have some rules they operate with. As a child my family had some hard and fast rules, such as come straight home from school-then you can play, chores must be done before play, don't even think about looking at Mom and saying "So what?!", etc. These rules were never written down, we just picked up on them after learning the hard way, i.e. breaking the unknown rule and being punished for it. My parents were fair, and they weren't overly strict. Most child-rearing experts agree that consistently applied rules help children feel secure and help families function more smoothly. Most also agree that consistency is key.
Last year, after a rough year of sibling rivalry and household stress due to financial and health reasons, I felt like our family was NOT functioning well. I was tired of the bickering and all out brawling, I was tired of yelling, crying, feeling like a horrible mom, and I was tired of feeling like I was doing it all. We took action on many of the issues were facing, and among the changes were a new, simple, easy to remember set of rules. They are really basic, but almost every situation we encounter can be filed under one of our rules.
#1 The Golden Rule- Do unto others as you would have done unto you. In other words, treat people the way you would like to be treated.
This is the grand-daddy of all rules in my opinion. If the whole world behaved with this in mind, think of the difference it would make! I consistently remind my kids to think about how they would feel about things. Often it is after and incident that they were either involved in or witnessed, but sometimes I manage to catch them before something happens and we are able to think something through before it happens.
This is also a great rule for Mom & Dad. It helps me remember that a) my kids are every bit as important as I am. They have feelings and ideas and opinions that are strong and I need to remember that. and b) my kids are watching. They are watching how R and I treat each other, how we treat our family and friends, and how we treat strangers. I'm certainly far from perfect, but I have caught myself before doing or saying something that I know I would feel bad about if it were said or done to me.
When they are a little older and have more of an ability to think abstractly I will introduce them to The Platinum Rule- Do unto others as they would have done unto them. Sometimes what we would like to have done to us or for is isn't at all what another person would choose. If we take some time to think it through, we can probably venture a good guess what the other person would want. And if not, The Golden Rule is about as safe of a fallback plan as it gets.
#2. WE DON'T HURT. Straight up. This one is non-negotiable. It is an automatic consequence, then we'll talk. We don't physically hurt people or animals. We don't hurt people with unkind words or actions or attitudes. We don't hurt ourselves. I tell them they have the right to feel any feelings that come up, but they NEVER have the right to hurt someone because of those feelings. Period. The End.
#3. WE ARE RESPECTFUL. I tell them that they can express any thought, idea or feeling, as long as they do it respectfully. So many things fall under this category, it is the great catchall for how we function in society. Show respect for other people's time by being on-time for commitments (I'll admit this something I continually work on). Show respect for people by being grateful for what is done for you. Respect our home and our belongings. Respect your friend's home and belongings. Don't swear or use ugly language. Use your manners. Respect yourself by taking care of yourself and not letting others pressure you into things that aren't good for you. Don't be rude about food you don't like. Listen the first time. Etc. etc.
#4. DO YOUR FAIR SHARE. Kids need to learn that life is not easy, and that your fair share may be more than someone else's for many reasons such as age, ability, finances, proximity, etc. Do your chores because you live here and we all need to pitch in. Help when asked. Look for ways to help. Clean up after yourself. Life requires work. Nothing stays done for long. Work first, then play.
I think so many children feel very entitled. I aim to have my children grow up knowing that work is part of the deal. Nothing comes easy, especially the important things. If we expect to do work in our lives, and we learn to work hard, life is actually easier! Paradoxical, but very true! I hope to teach them most of the things they will need to know to be a functioning adult, both inside the home and outside-laundry, cooking, yard-work, basic car maintenance, survival techniques, how to use tools, taking care of animals, how to work hard on a team, how to be a good employee and so on.
This is definitely one we are still working on. I'm not as strict a task master as I should be. I need to be more consistent about making sure chores are done every single day, that they work before they play. I still feel like I do more than my fair share. But by making this an official rule, it is in my thoughts more often and we are making progress. And kids really are very aware of what "fair" is. If I ask them if they feel they are doing their "fair share", they usually are honest and the answer is often "no". Then they are willing to self-correct (at least for a few minutes!) and get to work. They realize that it isn't fair for me to do it all, even if they don't really want to help! By the time they are teen-agers I am aiming to have the household responsibilities divided fairly between the four of us. I would also like to find a volunteer opportunity for our whole family because I believe very strongly that part of doing your fair share includes giving back to those that need help. And I believe that people who help others are happier and more grateful.
So there they are. It has gotten to the point that I can look at my kids as just say the number of the rule they are breaking and they know what that means. I'm often tempted to add other rules, but when I think about it, whatever it is usually falls under one of the existing ones.
I feel that these rules teach the basic virtues we all want our children to possess. Honesty-#s1 & 3. Kindness #1. Integrity-#2. Patience-#2. Perseverance-#3. Empathy- all of them. At the end of my parenting experience, I want to feel like I raised my boys to be "good" adults. Of course, how the ultimately end up is their choice, but I'd like to steer them in the right directions and give them the skills to be happy and successful people.
Last year, after a rough year of sibling rivalry and household stress due to financial and health reasons, I felt like our family was NOT functioning well. I was tired of the bickering and all out brawling, I was tired of yelling, crying, feeling like a horrible mom, and I was tired of feeling like I was doing it all. We took action on many of the issues were facing, and among the changes were a new, simple, easy to remember set of rules. They are really basic, but almost every situation we encounter can be filed under one of our rules.
#1 The Golden Rule- Do unto others as you would have done unto you. In other words, treat people the way you would like to be treated.
This is the grand-daddy of all rules in my opinion. If the whole world behaved with this in mind, think of the difference it would make! I consistently remind my kids to think about how they would feel about things. Often it is after and incident that they were either involved in or witnessed, but sometimes I manage to catch them before something happens and we are able to think something through before it happens.
This is also a great rule for Mom & Dad. It helps me remember that a) my kids are every bit as important as I am. They have feelings and ideas and opinions that are strong and I need to remember that. and b) my kids are watching. They are watching how R and I treat each other, how we treat our family and friends, and how we treat strangers. I'm certainly far from perfect, but I have caught myself before doing or saying something that I know I would feel bad about if it were said or done to me.
When they are a little older and have more of an ability to think abstractly I will introduce them to The Platinum Rule- Do unto others as they would have done unto them. Sometimes what we would like to have done to us or for is isn't at all what another person would choose. If we take some time to think it through, we can probably venture a good guess what the other person would want. And if not, The Golden Rule is about as safe of a fallback plan as it gets.
#2. WE DON'T HURT. Straight up. This one is non-negotiable. It is an automatic consequence, then we'll talk. We don't physically hurt people or animals. We don't hurt people with unkind words or actions or attitudes. We don't hurt ourselves. I tell them they have the right to feel any feelings that come up, but they NEVER have the right to hurt someone because of those feelings. Period. The End.
#3. WE ARE RESPECTFUL. I tell them that they can express any thought, idea or feeling, as long as they do it respectfully. So many things fall under this category, it is the great catchall for how we function in society. Show respect for other people's time by being on-time for commitments (I'll admit this something I continually work on). Show respect for people by being grateful for what is done for you. Respect our home and our belongings. Respect your friend's home and belongings. Don't swear or use ugly language. Use your manners. Respect yourself by taking care of yourself and not letting others pressure you into things that aren't good for you. Don't be rude about food you don't like. Listen the first time. Etc. etc.
#4. DO YOUR FAIR SHARE. Kids need to learn that life is not easy, and that your fair share may be more than someone else's for many reasons such as age, ability, finances, proximity, etc. Do your chores because you live here and we all need to pitch in. Help when asked. Look for ways to help. Clean up after yourself. Life requires work. Nothing stays done for long. Work first, then play.
I think so many children feel very entitled. I aim to have my children grow up knowing that work is part of the deal. Nothing comes easy, especially the important things. If we expect to do work in our lives, and we learn to work hard, life is actually easier! Paradoxical, but very true! I hope to teach them most of the things they will need to know to be a functioning adult, both inside the home and outside-laundry, cooking, yard-work, basic car maintenance, survival techniques, how to use tools, taking care of animals, how to work hard on a team, how to be a good employee and so on.
This is definitely one we are still working on. I'm not as strict a task master as I should be. I need to be more consistent about making sure chores are done every single day, that they work before they play. I still feel like I do more than my fair share. But by making this an official rule, it is in my thoughts more often and we are making progress. And kids really are very aware of what "fair" is. If I ask them if they feel they are doing their "fair share", they usually are honest and the answer is often "no". Then they are willing to self-correct (at least for a few minutes!) and get to work. They realize that it isn't fair for me to do it all, even if they don't really want to help! By the time they are teen-agers I am aiming to have the household responsibilities divided fairly between the four of us. I would also like to find a volunteer opportunity for our whole family because I believe very strongly that part of doing your fair share includes giving back to those that need help. And I believe that people who help others are happier and more grateful.
So there they are. It has gotten to the point that I can look at my kids as just say the number of the rule they are breaking and they know what that means. I'm often tempted to add other rules, but when I think about it, whatever it is usually falls under one of the existing ones.
I feel that these rules teach the basic virtues we all want our children to possess. Honesty-#s1 & 3. Kindness #1. Integrity-#2. Patience-#2. Perseverance-#3. Empathy- all of them. At the end of my parenting experience, I want to feel like I raised my boys to be "good" adults. Of course, how the ultimately end up is their choice, but I'd like to steer them in the right directions and give them the skills to be happy and successful people.
6.14.2009
Abundance
Back in January I decided this was the year I would focus on abundance. And in general I have. But I tend to have a fairly optimistic view anyway. I've been thinking I ought to have more of a plan though. Some way to track if I'm more focused on abundance or a record of my abundance mindset activities or something. So as a baby step I am going to record the things I think demonstrate abundance in my life here.
Here's my first one: Yesterday I went to the pharmacy to get a prescription for M. The cost is generally about $10 since it is a generic, but yesterday the pharmacist just handed it to me and said, "thank you". I stood there a minute with a confused/suspicious look on my face and said, "it's free"? He said the computer said it was. I replied, "I'll take it then"! and off we went.
I truly believe that the more you notice the good in your life, the more good you will have. Right now, $10 isn't chump change. I'm stretching every dollar. And I'm grateful to have an extra $10 in my HSA today! Thanks Universe! 'Preciate Ya!
Here's my first one: Yesterday I went to the pharmacy to get a prescription for M. The cost is generally about $10 since it is a generic, but yesterday the pharmacist just handed it to me and said, "thank you". I stood there a minute with a confused/suspicious look on my face and said, "it's free"? He said the computer said it was. I replied, "I'll take it then"! and off we went.
I truly believe that the more you notice the good in your life, the more good you will have. Right now, $10 isn't chump change. I'm stretching every dollar. And I'm grateful to have an extra $10 in my HSA today! Thanks Universe! 'Preciate Ya!
6.13.2009
Budgets Are Neat
OK, that might be a bit forced, but I am quite proud of myself for staying on budget the last 2 weeks.
A little while back I posted about our new cash budgeting system. And I have to admit that so far I am thinking it is a really great system for us.
Last week was harder than this week I'm guessing because I had more expenses and it was the first week of getting used to a budget. I also didn't plan for a few things, like teacher's thank you gifts and an impromptu ice cream night because M placed in the top tenth percentile nationally on his standardized tests. I have to admit I knew we didn't have the money, but it is a rare day that R suggests something of that nature, and I did want M to know how proud I am, so I figured we make it up this week. And I grossly underestimated my hair appointment, by $22! I really need to keep track of this stuff I can plan ahead better. All in all I went over budget by almost $85! So I had to take it out of this week's allotment.
This week I only had $100 for groceries, clothes, entertainment, gas and all other incidentals. It is also the first week that the kids are out of school. I can see that having them home most of the time will help keep me out of the stores. I detest shopping with both of them. It is such a stressful thing that I avoid it at all costs. I do foresee, however, that I could spend quite a bit on outings. So to make up for it I did a ton of research on what is available and also found some great websites with calendars of kids activities. I then, ever so cheerfully, declared this THE SUMMER OF FREE FUN!
M had golf lessons Monday thru Friday of this week. I paid for them in May. Totally worth the $40 fee. I will probably sign him up for another round later this summer. He also had cub scout camp Friday and Saturday which was $42. I bit pricey I think, but considering the rest of the year is pretty much free, I guess it really isn't.
Monday it rained and we just couldn't quite get our act together so we hung out all day. I even let them watch DVDs from the library for WAY too long.
Tuesday, racked with guilt, I decided I better get on the summer schedule. After chores and brain time we decided to go see a guy that rescues reptiles give a demonstration at the library. Cost-FREE. It was only an hour, but the kids really enjoyed it. Then we walked to a nearby eatery and had a snack. My plan was to get a cookie or share a larger dessert. This is where my new frugal parenting habits didn't quite kick in. They both wanted their own piece of chocolate cake. I wanted a fruit struesel bar. I knew the cake was too rich for them to finish a whole piece on their own, but I didn't want a fight, so I gave in. I was right, they ate half and threw it away. I ate half of mine and saved it for later. Cost-$11.04. Lesson learned-I need to be willing to fight the battle now so it will continue to get easier instead of giving in out of weakness. I went to the library by myself that evening for a little alone time. I like to read all the magazines I used to buy. At $3+ a pop, reading them at the library saves me some serious dough. I found some good DVDs for the weekend. Hooray for free books, magazines and movies!!!
Wednesday it rained some more. M had a playdate with his buddy. My neices came over to play with Z. Free fun for all. I went grocery shopping that evening because we were out of pretty much everything. I bought a very few basics. Cost-$45.74. M also had karate. Karate is expensive, $190 each month. He does several extra classes and has tournament team training as well. He loves it and it is so great for him. It's the only thing he is willing to work his booty off for. I'm willing to eat beans and rice for him to do this.
Thursday it rained. Seeing a pattern here? What a crappy way to start summer vacay. Oh well. We did our chores and then my kiddos went over to the neighbor friend's house for the afternoon. We went to a BBQ at a friend's for dinner.
Friday M went to camp. Z and I went to get my car from my dad. It has been making a disturbing clunking noise for months now. Everytime someone would look at it they would say they couldn't find anything wrong. Finally I told my dad I was too worried to drive it to Bear Lake, so if we didn't figure it out, I wouldn't be driving the boys up on the weekends. I didn't want the steering to go out down the canyon or something! He finally figured out it is just a loose cap on the McPhereson strut. It isn't dangerous, just annoying. I can replace the entire strut, which is still fine, for $85, or live with the noise. Just gonna live with it for awhile. So I gave him back their Durango, thank goodness because gas for that baby is ridiculous. Then I dropped Z off at his Granny's for their weekly hang out sesh. Salami, cheese, sourdough bread with butter, strawberries, soda and ice cream, plus TV! So totally bad, but I love the me time and they love going to visit. I picked up my sis and headed over to my friend's. We drove out to IKEA for the afternoon. I did very well. I bought 2 pillows for the couch, a whisk, an under the bed storage box for Z's out of season clothing, lunch and some candybars. Cost-just under $25. Which I had in my own checking account, so it didn't come out of the family money. Later P. and I went to Rio for a split salad and some queso. Oh yum! I ate way too much. Then we went to see Star Trek. It's good, I liked it a lot. I was planning on letting my kids see it but I'm glad I saw it first. I'm a bit strict, I'll admit, but I really think it is PG-13. Not because it is gory violent, it isn't. It is pretty scary. Evil aliens from the future already occupy way too much of M thoughts. If that wasn't the underlying theme, and that wasn't M particular anxiety, I would probably think it would be OK. Maybe. There is only 1 scene that is sexually suggestive, but I'm really trying to limit their exposure to that as well. So, I know he's going to be ticked off, but I'm not going to let him see it. And it is waaaayyyy to scary for a 6 year old. I didn't get snacks because i was already so full from dinner. So $6 from the family fund and $8 from my checking. M slept over at a friend's house and Z hung with dad.
Today, Saturday, M again had camp. Z and I slept in until 9:30. So delightful!!! Then we bummed around at home until about 1pm. I had thought I'd take him to the farmer's market down town, but it was, you guessed it, raining. So we went to lunch at Shivers. I had a coupon from our Happenings book for Buy 1 Get 1 Free. We also got a small shake. Cost=just over $9. Then we went to the store to get a prescription and buns for the hot dogs we are having for dinner. To my delighted surprise, the pharmacist told me that the meds were free. I don't know why, but hey! I'll take it!!! Then we bought buns, cheetos (on sale), toilet paper (4 rolls of the cheap stuff to get us through until next week) and 1 lb. of spaghetti in the clearance basket. Cost-$4.08.
So it is Saturday night and we have $6 from our weekly allotment. And I would say we had a pretty fun filled week and we ate just fine as well. My car is almost on E. I need to do a pantry inventory so I can spend as little as possible for groceries next week. Tonight we just plan on eating at home and watching a DVD. Tomorrow we are having breakfast at a friend's cabin just up the canyon and a BBQ with some other friends in the evening. R has a bike ride planned in between. Maybe we'll hit the skate park if it isn't raining. Or visit Nana and Pops.
Monday we start fresh with $172.89. I'm going to sign Z up for a round of flag football which will be $40. And I will need to figure out Father's Day gifts. It may be a good week to stock up on some pantry items as well.
It feels good to be in control and to be thinking before spending and aware of what we are spending our money on. I like having to pick and choose what spending items respresent our values and goals. And so far, I don't feel deprived at all.
A little while back I posted about our new cash budgeting system. And I have to admit that so far I am thinking it is a really great system for us.
Last week was harder than this week I'm guessing because I had more expenses and it was the first week of getting used to a budget. I also didn't plan for a few things, like teacher's thank you gifts and an impromptu ice cream night because M placed in the top tenth percentile nationally on his standardized tests. I have to admit I knew we didn't have the money, but it is a rare day that R suggests something of that nature, and I did want M to know how proud I am, so I figured we make it up this week. And I grossly underestimated my hair appointment, by $22! I really need to keep track of this stuff I can plan ahead better. All in all I went over budget by almost $85! So I had to take it out of this week's allotment.
This week I only had $100 for groceries, clothes, entertainment, gas and all other incidentals. It is also the first week that the kids are out of school. I can see that having them home most of the time will help keep me out of the stores. I detest shopping with both of them. It is such a stressful thing that I avoid it at all costs. I do foresee, however, that I could spend quite a bit on outings. So to make up for it I did a ton of research on what is available and also found some great websites with calendars of kids activities. I then, ever so cheerfully, declared this THE SUMMER OF FREE FUN!
M had golf lessons Monday thru Friday of this week. I paid for them in May. Totally worth the $40 fee. I will probably sign him up for another round later this summer. He also had cub scout camp Friday and Saturday which was $42. I bit pricey I think, but considering the rest of the year is pretty much free, I guess it really isn't.
Monday it rained and we just couldn't quite get our act together so we hung out all day. I even let them watch DVDs from the library for WAY too long.
Tuesday, racked with guilt, I decided I better get on the summer schedule. After chores and brain time we decided to go see a guy that rescues reptiles give a demonstration at the library. Cost-FREE. It was only an hour, but the kids really enjoyed it. Then we walked to a nearby eatery and had a snack. My plan was to get a cookie or share a larger dessert. This is where my new frugal parenting habits didn't quite kick in. They both wanted their own piece of chocolate cake. I wanted a fruit struesel bar. I knew the cake was too rich for them to finish a whole piece on their own, but I didn't want a fight, so I gave in. I was right, they ate half and threw it away. I ate half of mine and saved it for later. Cost-$11.04. Lesson learned-I need to be willing to fight the battle now so it will continue to get easier instead of giving in out of weakness. I went to the library by myself that evening for a little alone time. I like to read all the magazines I used to buy. At $3+ a pop, reading them at the library saves me some serious dough. I found some good DVDs for the weekend. Hooray for free books, magazines and movies!!!
Wednesday it rained some more. M had a playdate with his buddy. My neices came over to play with Z. Free fun for all. I went grocery shopping that evening because we were out of pretty much everything. I bought a very few basics. Cost-$45.74. M also had karate. Karate is expensive, $190 each month. He does several extra classes and has tournament team training as well. He loves it and it is so great for him. It's the only thing he is willing to work his booty off for. I'm willing to eat beans and rice for him to do this.
Thursday it rained. Seeing a pattern here? What a crappy way to start summer vacay. Oh well. We did our chores and then my kiddos went over to the neighbor friend's house for the afternoon. We went to a BBQ at a friend's for dinner.
Friday M went to camp. Z and I went to get my car from my dad. It has been making a disturbing clunking noise for months now. Everytime someone would look at it they would say they couldn't find anything wrong. Finally I told my dad I was too worried to drive it to Bear Lake, so if we didn't figure it out, I wouldn't be driving the boys up on the weekends. I didn't want the steering to go out down the canyon or something! He finally figured out it is just a loose cap on the McPhereson strut. It isn't dangerous, just annoying. I can replace the entire strut, which is still fine, for $85, or live with the noise. Just gonna live with it for awhile. So I gave him back their Durango, thank goodness because gas for that baby is ridiculous. Then I dropped Z off at his Granny's for their weekly hang out sesh. Salami, cheese, sourdough bread with butter, strawberries, soda and ice cream, plus TV! So totally bad, but I love the me time and they love going to visit. I picked up my sis and headed over to my friend's. We drove out to IKEA for the afternoon. I did very well. I bought 2 pillows for the couch, a whisk, an under the bed storage box for Z's out of season clothing, lunch and some candybars. Cost-just under $25. Which I had in my own checking account, so it didn't come out of the family money. Later P. and I went to Rio for a split salad and some queso. Oh yum! I ate way too much. Then we went to see Star Trek. It's good, I liked it a lot. I was planning on letting my kids see it but I'm glad I saw it first. I'm a bit strict, I'll admit, but I really think it is PG-13. Not because it is gory violent, it isn't. It is pretty scary. Evil aliens from the future already occupy way too much of M thoughts. If that wasn't the underlying theme, and that wasn't M particular anxiety, I would probably think it would be OK. Maybe. There is only 1 scene that is sexually suggestive, but I'm really trying to limit their exposure to that as well. So, I know he's going to be ticked off, but I'm not going to let him see it. And it is waaaayyyy to scary for a 6 year old. I didn't get snacks because i was already so full from dinner. So $6 from the family fund and $8 from my checking. M slept over at a friend's house and Z hung with dad.
Today, Saturday, M again had camp. Z and I slept in until 9:30. So delightful!!! Then we bummed around at home until about 1pm. I had thought I'd take him to the farmer's market down town, but it was, you guessed it, raining. So we went to lunch at Shivers. I had a coupon from our Happenings book for Buy 1 Get 1 Free. We also got a small shake. Cost=just over $9. Then we went to the store to get a prescription and buns for the hot dogs we are having for dinner. To my delighted surprise, the pharmacist told me that the meds were free. I don't know why, but hey! I'll take it!!! Then we bought buns, cheetos (on sale), toilet paper (4 rolls of the cheap stuff to get us through until next week) and 1 lb. of spaghetti in the clearance basket. Cost-$4.08.
So it is Saturday night and we have $6 from our weekly allotment. And I would say we had a pretty fun filled week and we ate just fine as well. My car is almost on E. I need to do a pantry inventory so I can spend as little as possible for groceries next week. Tonight we just plan on eating at home and watching a DVD. Tomorrow we are having breakfast at a friend's cabin just up the canyon and a BBQ with some other friends in the evening. R has a bike ride planned in between. Maybe we'll hit the skate park if it isn't raining. Or visit Nana and Pops.
Monday we start fresh with $172.89. I'm going to sign Z up for a round of flag football which will be $40. And I will need to figure out Father's Day gifts. It may be a good week to stock up on some pantry items as well.
It feels good to be in control and to be thinking before spending and aware of what we are spending our money on. I like having to pick and choose what spending items respresent our values and goals. And so far, I don't feel deprived at all.
6.10.2009
Funny!
Yesterday I took my kids to the library to see a guy who rescues reptiles. All very interesting.
Afterwords we walked to a little restaurant down the street that has delish desserts. Both boys picked out a piece of flourless chocolate cake. I was worried it was going to be too rich and make them sick so I kept asking, "are you sure you want to keep eating that? don't you want to save some for later?". Finally Z looked at me and said in a sort of dreamy drugged voice, "this is so good I wish I was a tiny man...so I could live in it". I couldn't help but laugh out loud. He is so funny when he isn't TRYING to be funny. Love that kid.
Afterwords we walked to a little restaurant down the street that has delish desserts. Both boys picked out a piece of flourless chocolate cake. I was worried it was going to be too rich and make them sick so I kept asking, "are you sure you want to keep eating that? don't you want to save some for later?". Finally Z looked at me and said in a sort of dreamy drugged voice, "this is so good I wish I was a tiny man...so I could live in it". I couldn't help but laugh out loud. He is so funny when he isn't TRYING to be funny. Love that kid.
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