I often find myself going overboard to live up to "their" expectations. But who are "they" anyway? I'm not really sure, but "they" seem to be ever present in my mind. I'd rather go overboard than underboard. So I spend too much on gifts, I freak out over potluck dishes and I make sure holidays are overpriced and overstuffed. Why? Where did I get this crazy idea that simple isn't enough?
I read in Martha Beck's book Finding Your North Star that we all have around 5 people that make up our "they". When we are making choices we are thinking about what these people would think. Of course they change over time and we may or may not actually know these people. It is totally possible that you could be making decisions in your real life based on what you think your favorite movie star would think about your choice. Isn't that crazy?
The funny thing is I had a conversation with someone who I realized makes up one of my "they" people this weekend. I'm going overboard to impress this person, and this person is wishing that we could all just relax, simplify, and make our lives easier, more affordable and enjoyable. Because this person suffers from the same need to go overboard! I'm so glad we talked!
So I'm going to do my best in situations that require me to put myself out into the public sphere to stop, figure out what it is I think "they" want me to do, then figure out what I want (now there's a concept!) and simplify! Simplify the cost, the presentation, the effort. Because if we all keep trying to keep up, we actually out do and expectations keep going up, up, up.
With the economy that way it is, I really want to be saving my money and investing it instead of wasting it on pretentions. I'm so glad to know that others feel the same way. I shouldn't care what others think, but I do. But if I'm honest and tell others where my priorites lie, I might just find out they feel the same way. And if they don't, at least they know where I stand, right?
3.25.2008
3.16.2008
Sunday Catch-up
Just thought I'd post a few new pics and an update.
Life is good. Spring is in the air (thank goodness!) and my mood is improving. It did snow last night but as I sit here I can see the snow melting away. I love that about Spring, you know it will melt! The forecast looks sunny and warm for the week. I am ready to get these kids outside and moving! Here is a pic of President's Day at our house.
I joined the gym at the beginning of the month. I've been trying to go each morning at 7 am, right after R comes back from his workout. I made it three times last week. I'm determined to go at least 4 this week. Can I see a difference? My clothes do feel better and I've received some very lovely compliments. Have I been following THE WAY? Pretty much. I need to revise THE WAY a bit and really commit. It's sure hard when it is birthday week and the Girl Scouts are selling those damn cookies!
I've been quite busy this week, in a good way. Tuesday I ran into my friend L at Target. Always nice to see her. Then I ran into the Long Lost H again. Weird how we didn't see each other for 4 years and now we see each other and have all these mutual friends. Cahraaazy! Wednesday I took Z to the candy factory for a tour with our Mommy Group. Always a good time. I bought 4 marshmallow eggs, ate one and then the dog ate the rest. Oh well. Thursday I took Z to go skating with my friends Piper and Kim. Great fun but I'm sure I picked up a virus there. Then I went to see Michael Pollan speak on his books The Omnivores Dilemma and In Defense of Food. I went with my friends Bridgette and Kevin. Love those guys. Love Michael Pollan! I highly recommend his books. I'm seriously a food geek! Friday night R and I went to a Gala event for the Utah Board of Realtors with Brad, Billy and Dinnie. We had fun but R ticked me off and it kind of threw off my groove. Oh well. At least I got a pretty new dress out of it. Here we are (minus Billy)
Saturday morning I realized I had definitely picked up some sort of virus, but M had a karate belt test. I'm so proud of the kid! He got his orange belt. He has been very dedicated and works hard, so he certainly deserves it!
I spent the rest of the day feeling pretty crappy. I finally took some ibuprofen and felt much better. We went to celebrate our little friend N's 6th birthday last night. We had a lot of fun. I sooo look forward to getting together with our awesome group of friends on the weekends. I've decided I am very social, just not a planner. Plan it, I'll be there. If I have to plan it, I'll stay home and read. Lazy, I know. I need to work on that.I just finished Louise Hays Heal Your Life. What a great book. Simple and quick but really profound. My next bookclub read is The Good Earth by Pearl Buck. I'm going to really try to read less non-fiction, less self-help and more uplifting fiction. I'm going to have to wait until Summer to tackle some of the deeper books I've been wanting to read. I just don't have the emotional strength right now.
Today R is off at Man Camp with his friends. They hiked up to a yurt and will hike and snowboard or ski all day, stay over in the yurt and come home in the morning. Doesn't sound to fun to me. I'm home with the kids and a nasty cold. But later we are going to see Horton Hears a Who with Family W. Should be fun. I've taken some meds hoping not to sniffle, cough and blow my nose through the movie. I'm just no good at staying home and feeling sorry for myself. I'm going to breeze right through this cold dangit!
Hope all is well with everyone!
Peace Love and Happiness!
2.27.2008
Forgiveness
Forgiveness has been in my thoughts a lot in the past few weeks. There have been several dramas I have been either involved in or aware of recently and it has given me a chance to think about how sweet the action and emotion of forgiveness really is.
The definition of forgiveness is "to cease to feel resentment against". Simple to define, so incredibly hard to do. It may be not too difficult to forgive someone who is sorry, who hurt you by accident and is seeking forgiveness. I have found this to often be the case. But some situations and people make forgiveness feel impossible. The issue never resolves, the person takes no responsibility. Even then, it may be possible to cut the person or situation out your life, and then forgiveness can come somewhat easily. But then there are the grand-daddy tests of forgiveness. The people and situations that you are stuck with indefinitely. It is so easy to begin to hate, resent and be hypersensitive to any slight. We are sure we are in the right and the other is definitely in the WRONG. And while that may be the case, it might not.
Why is this so hard? Well, it may feel like accepting abuse, like saying, "it's OK if you treat me like shit, I don't mind". But what we have to remember is that we can forgive and still say "that's enough of that" at the same time. Forgiveness is not saying, "I don't mind" it's saying, "I'm not going to harbor anger and resentment against you because it hurts me". Forgiveness really has nothing to do with the other person, it has to do with what kind of feelings you are willing to allow into your heart. Hate, anger, fear, resentment, and judgment are all soooo bad for your mind, body and soul. They take you away from your center, your universal being, from God, and keep you trapped in the past. Love, forgiveness, and acceptance are what God is, and keep you focused on the present. The only power we have is the choice we make RIGHT NOW. If we want to closer to God, we absolutely must protect the love in our heart. Anger is so seductive because it feels like POWER. This is a sad illusion because we have given away our power and have let someone else's actions come between us and God. This is why Jesus' only commandment was to love. It is the most powerful action possible. Forgiveness must occur to let love back into your heart. The other person doesn't even have to know about it. It isn't about them anyway. Forgiveness is as much an attitude as it an action. When Peter asked Jesus "Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?” Jesus replied, “I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven”. Basically, just keep on doin' it.
So how do we do it? Well, I think there are lots of ways. One way that is especially effective for me is to remember that hurt people hurt people. Something in them is hurting and once I recognize that they are acting out of their own pain, sadness, or fear, compassion usually sets in and I don't feel so angry anymore. At night before going to bed you can think of anyone that you may have pushed outside your loving heart that day, a rude store clerk, your belligerent child, you clueless husband, your uppity friend, your insufferable in-laws. Take the time to mentally apologizing for forgetting to love them, forgive their trespass and forgive yourself for not remaining true to yourself. Sleep is so much more restful with a peaceful heart! If it is particularly hard to forgive, ask the Source for help. Maybe you can't do it all by yourself, that's OK, just ask for the strength to do it. Say forgiveness affirmations and make the intention that you will not let negative emotions rule you. Forgiveness doesn't usually come over night. The important thing is to keep practicing and eventually, it does happen.
This I know for a fact. Several years ago something happened with a friend that hurt me deeply. I realized I had hurt her and when I tried to apologize and work things out, I was completely rejected and my try at reconciliation become a new issue. This caused not only a deep rift between me and this friend, but also involved many mutual friends. In the end I chose to remove myself from the situation as much as possible. While I could understand that I had hurt her (which I did and deeply regret), and her reaction was because of this hurt, I just could not get over how much her actions were hurting me. For at least a year I was angry and resentful. I thought negative thoughts about her often. Then, as time went by, I thought about it less and less until something would happen that brought it up again. I was always surprised at how upset I still was about it. I finally decided I had to forgive her and myself because it just felt so awful. Even then, it took much longer than I had anticipated. But every time I felt hurt I would remember my intention to forgive and move past the situation. And one day I realized I no longer felt the anger and pain I did. I felt OK about her and what had happened. Do I think we will ever be as close as we were? No, I don't see that happening (though you never know), but I can see her (and I do every few months), talk with her and actually enjoy her company at that time. I wish her nothing but a wonderful life and can appreciate her many talents. She's really is a great person. And I took away the lesson that I need to speak less, listen more, and think before I open my big mouth. Something I've struggled with my whole life. I also learned that just because things roll off my back pretty easily (for the most part), other people may feel criticized or judged by things that I am either saying in jest, or just stating as an observation. I need to learn to think about how the other person will feel about what I am saying. Life lessons.
Our egos are so fragile. It is easy to be offended when someone decides that we aren't worth much to them. It's easy to see their faults and ignore our own. It's easy to blame the situation on anything but ourselves. But we only get one life, every minute is so precious. We have to take responsibility for everything that we draw into our lives. Do we want to spend those moments consumed with those that have wronged us? I don't. I'd rather remember that each of acts in a way that seems right at the time. We are all doing the best we can with what we have. I'd rather forgive, try to find the lesson for myself and BE HAPPY!
A few quotes on forgiveness:
If we practice and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless. - Gandhi
Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude. - Martin Luther King Jr.
You have learned how it was said: Eye for eye and tooth for tooth. But I say this to you: offer the wicked man no resistance. On the contrary, if anyone hits you on the right cheek, offer him the other as well. -Jesus-
To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee. - William H Walton
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each person's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge. -Isaac Friedman
The definition of forgiveness is "to cease to feel resentment against". Simple to define, so incredibly hard to do. It may be not too difficult to forgive someone who is sorry, who hurt you by accident and is seeking forgiveness. I have found this to often be the case. But some situations and people make forgiveness feel impossible. The issue never resolves, the person takes no responsibility. Even then, it may be possible to cut the person or situation out your life, and then forgiveness can come somewhat easily. But then there are the grand-daddy tests of forgiveness. The people and situations that you are stuck with indefinitely. It is so easy to begin to hate, resent and be hypersensitive to any slight. We are sure we are in the right and the other is definitely in the WRONG. And while that may be the case, it might not.
Why is this so hard? Well, it may feel like accepting abuse, like saying, "it's OK if you treat me like shit, I don't mind". But what we have to remember is that we can forgive and still say "that's enough of that" at the same time. Forgiveness is not saying, "I don't mind" it's saying, "I'm not going to harbor anger and resentment against you because it hurts me". Forgiveness really has nothing to do with the other person, it has to do with what kind of feelings you are willing to allow into your heart. Hate, anger, fear, resentment, and judgment are all soooo bad for your mind, body and soul. They take you away from your center, your universal being, from God, and keep you trapped in the past. Love, forgiveness, and acceptance are what God is, and keep you focused on the present. The only power we have is the choice we make RIGHT NOW. If we want to closer to God, we absolutely must protect the love in our heart. Anger is so seductive because it feels like POWER. This is a sad illusion because we have given away our power and have let someone else's actions come between us and God. This is why Jesus' only commandment was to love. It is the most powerful action possible. Forgiveness must occur to let love back into your heart. The other person doesn't even have to know about it. It isn't about them anyway. Forgiveness is as much an attitude as it an action. When Peter asked Jesus "Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?” Jesus replied, “I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven”. Basically, just keep on doin' it.
So how do we do it? Well, I think there are lots of ways. One way that is especially effective for me is to remember that hurt people hurt people. Something in them is hurting and once I recognize that they are acting out of their own pain, sadness, or fear, compassion usually sets in and I don't feel so angry anymore. At night before going to bed you can think of anyone that you may have pushed outside your loving heart that day, a rude store clerk, your belligerent child, you clueless husband, your uppity friend, your insufferable in-laws. Take the time to mentally apologizing for forgetting to love them, forgive their trespass and forgive yourself for not remaining true to yourself. Sleep is so much more restful with a peaceful heart! If it is particularly hard to forgive, ask the Source for help. Maybe you can't do it all by yourself, that's OK, just ask for the strength to do it. Say forgiveness affirmations and make the intention that you will not let negative emotions rule you. Forgiveness doesn't usually come over night. The important thing is to keep practicing and eventually, it does happen.
This I know for a fact. Several years ago something happened with a friend that hurt me deeply. I realized I had hurt her and when I tried to apologize and work things out, I was completely rejected and my try at reconciliation become a new issue. This caused not only a deep rift between me and this friend, but also involved many mutual friends. In the end I chose to remove myself from the situation as much as possible. While I could understand that I had hurt her (which I did and deeply regret), and her reaction was because of this hurt, I just could not get over how much her actions were hurting me. For at least a year I was angry and resentful. I thought negative thoughts about her often. Then, as time went by, I thought about it less and less until something would happen that brought it up again. I was always surprised at how upset I still was about it. I finally decided I had to forgive her and myself because it just felt so awful. Even then, it took much longer than I had anticipated. But every time I felt hurt I would remember my intention to forgive and move past the situation. And one day I realized I no longer felt the anger and pain I did. I felt OK about her and what had happened. Do I think we will ever be as close as we were? No, I don't see that happening (though you never know), but I can see her (and I do every few months), talk with her and actually enjoy her company at that time. I wish her nothing but a wonderful life and can appreciate her many talents. She's really is a great person. And I took away the lesson that I need to speak less, listen more, and think before I open my big mouth. Something I've struggled with my whole life. I also learned that just because things roll off my back pretty easily (for the most part), other people may feel criticized or judged by things that I am either saying in jest, or just stating as an observation. I need to learn to think about how the other person will feel about what I am saying. Life lessons.
Our egos are so fragile. It is easy to be offended when someone decides that we aren't worth much to them. It's easy to see their faults and ignore our own. It's easy to blame the situation on anything but ourselves. But we only get one life, every minute is so precious. We have to take responsibility for everything that we draw into our lives. Do we want to spend those moments consumed with those that have wronged us? I don't. I'd rather remember that each of acts in a way that seems right at the time. We are all doing the best we can with what we have. I'd rather forgive, try to find the lesson for myself and BE HAPPY!
A few quotes on forgiveness:
If we practice and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless. - Gandhi
Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude. - Martin Luther King Jr.
You have learned how it was said: Eye for eye and tooth for tooth. But I say this to you: offer the wicked man no resistance. On the contrary, if anyone hits you on the right cheek, offer him the other as well. -Jesus-
To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee. - William H Walton
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each person's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge. -Isaac Friedman
2.21.2008
Random Pics of the Fam Damily
Z with the "fake" Santa. The "real" one is at South Towne Mall, just so ya know.
Z in Costa Rica. My boy loves his sand!
The boys on their birthday.
M surfing.
Z in Costa Rica. My boy loves his sand!
M in Costa Rica. The pool is REALLY cold!
2.19.2008
Recession Proofing our Finances
Well, it's official. We are in a recession. How bad will it be? How will affect us? Obviously no one can predict the future, so it's a good idea to plan for the worst while still hoping for the best. I admit, we were caught with our pants down. We went 6 months with $3000 income. Brutal is the best way to describe it. But as with all things difficult, we learned some really important lessons. We can weather the storm without killing each other. We might make each other pretty damn miserable, but we're all in this together. Buy less, buy quality. Used is often just as good as new. Travel is fun but not a necessity. Last, but certainly not least, (this might seem obvious) debt is bad, savings are good.
So how do we plan to get through the recession as well as make sure we are ready for another dry spell in income? Funny you should ask. Here is our basic plan.
1. Lower monthly payments. We lucked out. Our house has appreciated a considerable amount. When rates went down we did a refi. We took out enough equity to pay off our debt and still lowered out monthly payments. While I don't recommend this for everyone, and fully understand the consequences of out actions (trading equity to pay off past purchases, trading unsecured debt for secured) for us it really did make the most sense. We now have some much needed breathing room.
2. No new debt. If we don't have the cash for it, we don't get it. This is a hard one. For R it is because he is always tempted to take a line of credit and invest it. I finally had to tell him that it ain't gonna happen again. He still brings it up, I still shut him down. I'm sure a fabulous opportunity is going to come along and I will really have to stand my ground. NO NEW DEBT! I've canceled all but one card with a reasonable limit (for renting cars and such). For me it is hard when it comes to travel. We are planning on a Costa Rica trip this fall, but if we don't have the money saved by then, we aren't going. In the past I would have insisted that we still go for the experience of it, arguing that it is our life after all. I think the credit card companies had me snowed for a bit there with their feel good commercials. Well I'm wise to them now!
3. SAVE!!! I am passionate about saving up a six month emergency fund. A full year would be better, but I will determine if that is necessary when I hit the 6 month mark. R is also working on saving a 6 month buffer for business expenses. That way we won't be tempted to rob Peter to pay Paul. We currently have 1 month saved. It's not much, but it certainly is better than being 5 months in the hole!
4. Increase income. I've been a mostly SAHM for the past 5 years. I've done corporate America and I don't see that happening again for me in this lifetime. The benefits were great, but not worth the stress and time spent doing something I really didn't enjoy for someone else's benefit. I also can't imagine working 40+ hours and having 2 kids. I know lots of people do it, and that's great, I just can't imagine it for me. I don't juggle a lot of responsibilities well. So I've been helping R with his business a few hours a week. but that doesn't actually bring in any money. I have been trying to think of a part-time job that I could see me enjoying and bringing in enough to make having Z in daycare worth it. Well there really aren't any. Then I realized that if I work at his pre-school/daycare, his care is free and I am bringing in some money. Plus I think it would be fun. I have an interview tomorrow. They are looking for some permanent people as well as some subs. I think I may start out as a sub. More flexibility. But I will have to find out what benefits, if any, they provide. The other place I've considered is the rec center. They only pay about $8 an hour, but Z could go to their daycare for free, their shifts are short, and you get a rec center pass for free. Not a bad deal really. By bringing in some extra money each month I'm hoping to a) get that emergency fund built quickly b) take some of the pressure of R and c) give us some fun money for a few wants. It has been pretty lean around here lately.
5. Make every dollar count. It's times like these that you really start to think about what is important to you. When you only have a few dollars to spend, McDonald's because you're too tired to cook isn't as appealing. You start to think about travel vs. a newer car vs. a bathroom remodel vs. retirement or college savings. Some days I want to update my house SOOOOO BAD! And then I read an article about a couple who retired at 40 by being frugal and I realize my house is fully functional (mostly), just out of style and a bit worn. I shop and wish I could buy a million pairs of shoes until I realize my car is getting up there in miles. Or some friends travel monthly and I wish I could too until I realize that my dream career requires a master's degree. It's all about choices. Some people could never imagine letting their children wear hand-me-downs or used clothes. I don't mind a bit. When I score a Tony Hawk t-shirt for $2 instead of $20, I have $18 to put towards something else. Like organic food, which is pretty much non-negotiable for me. Everyone's choices will be different. But knowing what choices are important to our family makes managing the money a lot more simple.
So how do we plan to get through the recession as well as make sure we are ready for another dry spell in income? Funny you should ask. Here is our basic plan.
1. Lower monthly payments. We lucked out. Our house has appreciated a considerable amount. When rates went down we did a refi. We took out enough equity to pay off our debt and still lowered out monthly payments. While I don't recommend this for everyone, and fully understand the consequences of out actions (trading equity to pay off past purchases, trading unsecured debt for secured) for us it really did make the most sense. We now have some much needed breathing room.
2. No new debt. If we don't have the cash for it, we don't get it. This is a hard one. For R it is because he is always tempted to take a line of credit and invest it. I finally had to tell him that it ain't gonna happen again. He still brings it up, I still shut him down. I'm sure a fabulous opportunity is going to come along and I will really have to stand my ground. NO NEW DEBT! I've canceled all but one card with a reasonable limit (for renting cars and such). For me it is hard when it comes to travel. We are planning on a Costa Rica trip this fall, but if we don't have the money saved by then, we aren't going. In the past I would have insisted that we still go for the experience of it, arguing that it is our life after all. I think the credit card companies had me snowed for a bit there with their feel good commercials. Well I'm wise to them now!
3. SAVE!!! I am passionate about saving up a six month emergency fund. A full year would be better, but I will determine if that is necessary when I hit the 6 month mark. R is also working on saving a 6 month buffer for business expenses. That way we won't be tempted to rob Peter to pay Paul. We currently have 1 month saved. It's not much, but it certainly is better than being 5 months in the hole!
4. Increase income. I've been a mostly SAHM for the past 5 years. I've done corporate America and I don't see that happening again for me in this lifetime. The benefits were great, but not worth the stress and time spent doing something I really didn't enjoy for someone else's benefit. I also can't imagine working 40+ hours and having 2 kids. I know lots of people do it, and that's great, I just can't imagine it for me. I don't juggle a lot of responsibilities well. So I've been helping R with his business a few hours a week. but that doesn't actually bring in any money. I have been trying to think of a part-time job that I could see me enjoying and bringing in enough to make having Z in daycare worth it. Well there really aren't any. Then I realized that if I work at his pre-school/daycare, his care is free and I am bringing in some money. Plus I think it would be fun. I have an interview tomorrow. They are looking for some permanent people as well as some subs. I think I may start out as a sub. More flexibility. But I will have to find out what benefits, if any, they provide. The other place I've considered is the rec center. They only pay about $8 an hour, but Z could go to their daycare for free, their shifts are short, and you get a rec center pass for free. Not a bad deal really. By bringing in some extra money each month I'm hoping to a) get that emergency fund built quickly b) take some of the pressure of R and c) give us some fun money for a few wants. It has been pretty lean around here lately.
5. Make every dollar count. It's times like these that you really start to think about what is important to you. When you only have a few dollars to spend, McDonald's because you're too tired to cook isn't as appealing. You start to think about travel vs. a newer car vs. a bathroom remodel vs. retirement or college savings. Some days I want to update my house SOOOOO BAD! And then I read an article about a couple who retired at 40 by being frugal and I realize my house is fully functional (mostly), just out of style and a bit worn. I shop and wish I could buy a million pairs of shoes until I realize my car is getting up there in miles. Or some friends travel monthly and I wish I could too until I realize that my dream career requires a master's degree. It's all about choices. Some people could never imagine letting their children wear hand-me-downs or used clothes. I don't mind a bit. When I score a Tony Hawk t-shirt for $2 instead of $20, I have $18 to put towards something else. Like organic food, which is pretty much non-negotiable for me. Everyone's choices will be different. But knowing what choices are important to our family makes managing the money a lot more simple.
2.05.2008
1.28.2008
In Defense of Food (a review)
I just read In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan. Last year I read his book The Omnivore's Dilemma and LOVED it! So I was really excited to read this new book. I realize I'm kind of a geek to get so excited about social commentaries about food as well as the food economy. Guilty. I still love them though.
So he starts out by explaining why another book about food. In the Omnivore's Dilemma he goes into extreme detail to map out food systems. But he never did say what it is he now eats after doing all this research about how our food gets to our table. So in this book he does. He basically boils it down to "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." This reminds me of Marion Nestle's advice, "Eat less. Move more. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Go easy on the junk". Which is advice I have taken straight to heart.
The book is broken down into 3 parts. The first explains how we have gotten away from eating foods, and now worship the cult of nutritionism which is instead eating nutrients. So instead of eating carrots because we like carrots, and we know that carrots are good for us, we eat carrots because we are trying to get more beta carotene. And then we may wonder if we really need to eat the carrots and instead take a beta carotene supplement. Then we wonder why we just aren't that healthy. We talked about this in my advanced nutrition class last year. My professor pointed out that nutritionists have found that supplements usually fail to do what a good balanced diet does. We obviously don't know everything about what is in food and how the body digests food. The sum of the parts don't equal the whole.
Section 2 talks about the Western Diet. He goes into how most traditional diets, whether vegetarian, mostly meat, high fat, low fat or anything else, have tended to have populations with far less incidence of disease. Pretty much any diet is healthy but the Western Diet. But maybe that is because we have gotten away from eating real food and instead eat a lot of refined foodlike substances that are primarily made of corn, wheat or soy, repackaged artfully to seem like different types of food. It looks like a diverse diet, but it's not. And of course there is the conspicuous absence of fruits and vegetables. Lots of meat (raised on corn,wheat and soy), lots of processed foods packed with refined starches (corn, wheat and soy), lots of sugar (more corn), trans fats (corn, soy) and salt. We are plagued with excess calories and still we are
undernourished, a feat not really thought possible before.
Section 3 goes into the basic "rules" or guidelines he follows as a result of his research. 1) Don't eat anything your grandmother wouldn't recognize. Go-gurt anyone?
2) Avoid food with ingredeints that are a) unfamiliar b)unpronouceable c)more than 5 in number and d) include high fructose corn syrup.
3) Avoid foods that make health claims (I mostly agree with this, but I love me some Cheerios). 4) Shop the perimeter of the store
5)Get out of the supermarket if possible and instead patronize farmer's markets, CSAs or grow a garden.
6) Eat mostly plants, especially leaves.
7) Remember you are what your food eats too
8)If you have the space, buy a freezer.
9) Eat well grown food from healthy soils.
10) Eat wild foods when you can
11) Be the kind of person that eats supplements, but then don 't.
12) Eat more like the French, or the Italians, or the Japanese, or the Indians, or the Greeks...(those who have traditional diets tend to be healthier)
13) Don't look for the magic bullet in a traditional diet (enjoy your food, don't just eat...dine.)
14)Have a glass of wine with dinner
15)Pay more, eat less.
16) Eat meals. Don't snack and graze your way through the day.
17) Do all your eating at the table.
18)Don't get your fuel from the same place your car does.
19) Try not to eat alone.
20) Consult your gut. (Stop eating if you are full. If the food makes you feel like crap, don't eat it).
21) Eat slowly.
22) Cook. And if you can plant a garden.
I've spent many, many years reading nutrition books and the latest diet books. For a little while I felt totally messed up. I've got lots of fitness fanatic friends. I've got friends that follow strict diets. I've tried them myself. About a year and a half ago I decided I was done. No more diets, not more diet books, no more latest nutrient, no more supplements. I just wanted to eat. And at first I let myself just eat a lot of crap. Did I gain weight? Not really. I've been about the same weight for 2 years. Then I read the Omnivore's Dilemma and decided that my gut feeling that organic foods really are the best idea for health and the planet. Then I read Marion Nestle's book What to Eat. I loved that she is a nutritionist but has a totally common sense approach to food. I made my New Year's Resolution: Eat LOADS of fruits and vegetables. I've done pretty well so far. Recently I have decided I am ready to try to lose the 20 lbs I need to shed. And the seduction of weight loss products started to creep back in. Should I do a cleanse? Should I talk to my doctor about weight loss medications? Should I give up starchy foods? And then this book reminded me of what I really think the key to weight loss is: Eat less, move more, eat lots of fruits and vegetables, go easy on the junk. Eat food, not much, mostly plants. It's a simple as that.
So he starts out by explaining why another book about food. In the Omnivore's Dilemma he goes into extreme detail to map out food systems. But he never did say what it is he now eats after doing all this research about how our food gets to our table. So in this book he does. He basically boils it down to "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." This reminds me of Marion Nestle's advice, "Eat less. Move more. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Go easy on the junk". Which is advice I have taken straight to heart.
The book is broken down into 3 parts. The first explains how we have gotten away from eating foods, and now worship the cult of nutritionism which is instead eating nutrients. So instead of eating carrots because we like carrots, and we know that carrots are good for us, we eat carrots because we are trying to get more beta carotene. And then we may wonder if we really need to eat the carrots and instead take a beta carotene supplement. Then we wonder why we just aren't that healthy. We talked about this in my advanced nutrition class last year. My professor pointed out that nutritionists have found that supplements usually fail to do what a good balanced diet does. We obviously don't know everything about what is in food and how the body digests food. The sum of the parts don't equal the whole.
Section 2 talks about the Western Diet. He goes into how most traditional diets, whether vegetarian, mostly meat, high fat, low fat or anything else, have tended to have populations with far less incidence of disease. Pretty much any diet is healthy but the Western Diet. But maybe that is because we have gotten away from eating real food and instead eat a lot of refined foodlike substances that are primarily made of corn, wheat or soy, repackaged artfully to seem like different types of food. It looks like a diverse diet, but it's not. And of course there is the conspicuous absence of fruits and vegetables. Lots of meat (raised on corn,wheat and soy), lots of processed foods packed with refined starches (corn, wheat and soy), lots of sugar (more corn), trans fats (corn, soy) and salt. We are plagued with excess calories and still we are
undernourished, a feat not really thought possible before.
Section 3 goes into the basic "rules" or guidelines he follows as a result of his research. 1) Don't eat anything your grandmother wouldn't recognize. Go-gurt anyone?
2) Avoid food with ingredeints that are a) unfamiliar b)unpronouceable c)more than 5 in number and d) include high fructose corn syrup.
3) Avoid foods that make health claims (I mostly agree with this, but I love me some Cheerios). 4) Shop the perimeter of the store
5)Get out of the supermarket if possible and instead patronize farmer's markets, CSAs or grow a garden.
6) Eat mostly plants, especially leaves.
7) Remember you are what your food eats too
8)If you have the space, buy a freezer.
9) Eat well grown food from healthy soils.
10) Eat wild foods when you can
11) Be the kind of person that eats supplements, but then don 't.
12) Eat more like the French, or the Italians, or the Japanese, or the Indians, or the Greeks...(those who have traditional diets tend to be healthier)
13) Don't look for the magic bullet in a traditional diet (enjoy your food, don't just eat...dine.)
14)Have a glass of wine with dinner
15)Pay more, eat less.
16) Eat meals. Don't snack and graze your way through the day.
17) Do all your eating at the table.
18)Don't get your fuel from the same place your car does.
19) Try not to eat alone.
20) Consult your gut. (Stop eating if you are full. If the food makes you feel like crap, don't eat it).
21) Eat slowly.
22) Cook. And if you can plant a garden.
I've spent many, many years reading nutrition books and the latest diet books. For a little while I felt totally messed up. I've got lots of fitness fanatic friends. I've got friends that follow strict diets. I've tried them myself. About a year and a half ago I decided I was done. No more diets, not more diet books, no more latest nutrient, no more supplements. I just wanted to eat. And at first I let myself just eat a lot of crap. Did I gain weight? Not really. I've been about the same weight for 2 years. Then I read the Omnivore's Dilemma and decided that my gut feeling that organic foods really are the best idea for health and the planet. Then I read Marion Nestle's book What to Eat. I loved that she is a nutritionist but has a totally common sense approach to food. I made my New Year's Resolution: Eat LOADS of fruits and vegetables. I've done pretty well so far. Recently I have decided I am ready to try to lose the 20 lbs I need to shed. And the seduction of weight loss products started to creep back in. Should I do a cleanse? Should I talk to my doctor about weight loss medications? Should I give up starchy foods? And then this book reminded me of what I really think the key to weight loss is: Eat less, move more, eat lots of fruits and vegetables, go easy on the junk. Eat food, not much, mostly plants. It's a simple as that.
1.26.2008
The Dilemma of Laundry
Laundry. I hate it. I hate sorting it, soaking it, folding it, and especially putting it all away. I daydream about the day M and Z can do their own. R? I should make him do his own, but I figure, he does support the family and all. I'll give him a pass for now.
So as much as I already dislike the chore, I find it is beginning to bring about a whole new level of stress beyond "Do I really have to do it?". Am I doing it in the "right" way? The most environmental way?
I try to do full loads. It is rare that I do a smaller emergency load. I generally wash in cold unless it is whites. I buy a "green" detergent from Costco. Is it really green? I don't know, I just believe it is because they say it is. I haven't found the time to research my laundry products. Does it work as well? Not as well as say, Tide with bleach, but it is acceptable. Does it cost more? More than Costco's Kirkland brand. About equal to Tide. I've begun adding Borax. This I know is environmentally OK. I use it to boost the only acceptable detergent. It's a new cost, but minimal. About $3.50 for a box that last's about 2 weeks. I used to use Clorox 2, then I switched to Purex all fabric bleach for colors. Now I'm using nothing. Are my clothes as clean? No. I use more Spray n Wash now, which I'm sure is a no-no. I tried several environmentally correct stain fighters. None really worked all that well and they cost a fortune. I don't use a fabric softener in the wash. And then there is the bleach problem. I tried not using it for awhile. My white towels, which I bought because they were "simpler" because they all matched, didn't fade and I could always bleach them white again, require bleach to stay white. Then I found out bleach was bad. So my towels began to get dingy. Plus what about Z's "accidents"? I sure do like to bleach his little undies white again, plus I know they are really clean. Not sure if just hot water would kill all the germs. So I began to use bleach again. But now I feel guilty. This month's Martha Steward Living says to use Oxigenated Bleach instead. They show a photo of an environmentally correct brand. Will Oxi-Clean work? Or is there something in there that isn't good? And does it kill germs as well as clean stuff? More research to do.
And then there is the dryer. In the summer I hang 90% of our laundry outside. I don't really mind crunchy clothes. I learned that using less detergent actually leaves your clothes softer. But in the winter I have to move this operation inside and it takes a lot longer for everything to dry. So when I do use the dryer, once again I try to do full loads, do them in succession to take advantage of a hot dryer, and always clean my lint trap. But I used to use Bounce to tame the ever dreaded static cling. I'm guessing there is something petroleum based in there (research, anyone?) so I bought an environmentally friendly claiming brand at Wal-mart (of all places, which is whole different rant). The clothes are softish, but it does almost nothing for static cling. Seriously, folding socks is a shocking experience, and I keep finding stray socks in my pants.
I have no concrete answers and certainly don't claim to be the pillar of environmental living. I try very hard to do the best thing for our environment. I really do care. But sometimes I get so sick of how hard it is to do simple things like laundry. It would be nice if all so called "green" products really were and there weren't any money hungry corporations out there willing to take a buck they don't deserve by touting their "green"ness, when you read later that they aren't really. It would be nice to live in a world where people wouldn't want to sell you anything that will cause algae blooms or kill ocean wildlife or build up toxins in their bodies, which inevitably we eat and end up building up in our own and children's bodies. What if all products were OK for the environment and our bodies because that was all our society allowed? It would be nice if good products weren't half the size and twice as much. It would be nice if I didn't care if my whites were blindingly white or my clothes soft and static free. There is plenty of blame to go around.
I guess change happens from right where you are. If I do a little better, learn a little more, and decide to put my money where my mouth is, change will come. Hopefully, others will make changes as well and the momentum will pick up. I am a hopeful, optimistic person. I believe that change will come and we will figure out a way out of the mess we've made. It starts with people like me thinking about simple things, like laundry.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some research to do.
Peace.
So as much as I already dislike the chore, I find it is beginning to bring about a whole new level of stress beyond "Do I really have to do it?". Am I doing it in the "right" way? The most environmental way?
I try to do full loads. It is rare that I do a smaller emergency load. I generally wash in cold unless it is whites. I buy a "green" detergent from Costco. Is it really green? I don't know, I just believe it is because they say it is. I haven't found the time to research my laundry products. Does it work as well? Not as well as say, Tide with bleach, but it is acceptable. Does it cost more? More than Costco's Kirkland brand. About equal to Tide. I've begun adding Borax. This I know is environmentally OK. I use it to boost the only acceptable detergent. It's a new cost, but minimal. About $3.50 for a box that last's about 2 weeks. I used to use Clorox 2, then I switched to Purex all fabric bleach for colors. Now I'm using nothing. Are my clothes as clean? No. I use more Spray n Wash now, which I'm sure is a no-no. I tried several environmentally correct stain fighters. None really worked all that well and they cost a fortune. I don't use a fabric softener in the wash. And then there is the bleach problem. I tried not using it for awhile. My white towels, which I bought because they were "simpler" because they all matched, didn't fade and I could always bleach them white again, require bleach to stay white. Then I found out bleach was bad. So my towels began to get dingy. Plus what about Z's "accidents"? I sure do like to bleach his little undies white again, plus I know they are really clean. Not sure if just hot water would kill all the germs. So I began to use bleach again. But now I feel guilty. This month's Martha Steward Living says to use Oxigenated Bleach instead. They show a photo of an environmentally correct brand. Will Oxi-Clean work? Or is there something in there that isn't good? And does it kill germs as well as clean stuff? More research to do.
And then there is the dryer. In the summer I hang 90% of our laundry outside. I don't really mind crunchy clothes. I learned that using less detergent actually leaves your clothes softer. But in the winter I have to move this operation inside and it takes a lot longer for everything to dry. So when I do use the dryer, once again I try to do full loads, do them in succession to take advantage of a hot dryer, and always clean my lint trap. But I used to use Bounce to tame the ever dreaded static cling. I'm guessing there is something petroleum based in there (research, anyone?) so I bought an environmentally friendly claiming brand at Wal-mart (of all places, which is whole different rant). The clothes are softish, but it does almost nothing for static cling. Seriously, folding socks is a shocking experience, and I keep finding stray socks in my pants.
I have no concrete answers and certainly don't claim to be the pillar of environmental living. I try very hard to do the best thing for our environment. I really do care. But sometimes I get so sick of how hard it is to do simple things like laundry. It would be nice if all so called "green" products really were and there weren't any money hungry corporations out there willing to take a buck they don't deserve by touting their "green"ness, when you read later that they aren't really. It would be nice to live in a world where people wouldn't want to sell you anything that will cause algae blooms or kill ocean wildlife or build up toxins in their bodies, which inevitably we eat and end up building up in our own and children's bodies. What if all products were OK for the environment and our bodies because that was all our society allowed? It would be nice if good products weren't half the size and twice as much. It would be nice if I didn't care if my whites were blindingly white or my clothes soft and static free. There is plenty of blame to go around.
I guess change happens from right where you are. If I do a little better, learn a little more, and decide to put my money where my mouth is, change will come. Hopefully, others will make changes as well and the momentum will pick up. I am a hopeful, optimistic person. I believe that change will come and we will figure out a way out of the mess we've made. It starts with people like me thinking about simple things, like laundry.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some research to do.
Peace.
1.23.2008
Nature is Amazing!
I thought I'd give a quick snippet about life around here lately.
Snow, snow and more snow. Wow. It is hard to believe we could get so much snow in such a short time. I've always figured, if we have to have winter, it may as well snow. And boy have we.
So today I took the Z-ster sledding with our Mommy Group. Oh my gosh we had fun! I definitely counted it towards my workout for the day. Lots of walking uphill, followed by zooming, shrieking and laughing. And of course bowling other children over. Z managed to knock our friend Carson over, right in the gut. Carson managed to laugh it off and keep going. Then Z hit his cousin A, who is very petite, in the back. It knocked the wind right out of her, poor thing. My sensitive little Z was yelling, "Did I hurt her?! Did I hurt her?!, Oh NO!!!" I didn't know who to feel worse for. Both managed to recover and a good time was had by all.
M had cub Scouts today. As we pulled in the driveway after I picked him up we were greeted by this sight:
Amazing aren't they?
We are so fortunate to live where we are reminded of the magnificent world we live in.
1.10.2008
Back on the Chain Gang
I'm getting a job. Or at least, I'm pretty sure I am.
I have been pretty adamant that I was NOT going back to work. I've got 2 smallish kids, lots of activities, a household and a husband with erratic work schedule. I have refused to add another responsibility to my daily schedule. I have said I would rather move and/or cut back expenses to the bare minimum rather than spend 40 hours working for someone else's bottom line and then come home and do all the rest of my work, all for a pitiful amount of money. My life energy is worth more than that.
I've been praying for the right gig to come along. Something that meets all my requirements and takes care of most of my concerns. Those concerns have been:
* not paying for M to also go to after-school care (in other words, being available to pick him up from school at 3:15)
*making a reasonable amount more than I am paying for Z to go to the Winner school.
*dealing with Z's bowel problems and not expecting someone else to deal with them.
*not being in an environment where the company's wants and needs must supersede my own.
*getting help around the house.
And then I had the IDEA. Why not work at the Winner School. I love the place. Z is already there and if I am working there, he is pretty much free. And I could be there for the inevitable accidents. That kills 3 birds with one stone. They are always looking for subs at a minimum, which would give me flexibility to start off with and a foot in the door. People work there forever, which shows me that it must be a pretty decent place to work. Plus it just sounds kinda fun. Which I really couldn't say about any of the other jobs I considered.
So I filled out an application. Their receptionist told me that she is pretty sure I could at least sub to start and she would give my app to the owner who incidentally knows my mom from the gym. So now I'm just waiting for a call.
I hope it is all I want it to be!
I have been pretty adamant that I was NOT going back to work. I've got 2 smallish kids, lots of activities, a household and a husband with erratic work schedule. I have refused to add another responsibility to my daily schedule. I have said I would rather move and/or cut back expenses to the bare minimum rather than spend 40 hours working for someone else's bottom line and then come home and do all the rest of my work, all for a pitiful amount of money. My life energy is worth more than that.
I've been praying for the right gig to come along. Something that meets all my requirements and takes care of most of my concerns. Those concerns have been:
* not paying for M to also go to after-school care (in other words, being available to pick him up from school at 3:15)
*making a reasonable amount more than I am paying for Z to go to the Winner school.
*dealing with Z's bowel problems and not expecting someone else to deal with them.
*not being in an environment where the company's wants and needs must supersede my own.
*getting help around the house.
And then I had the IDEA. Why not work at the Winner School. I love the place. Z is already there and if I am working there, he is pretty much free. And I could be there for the inevitable accidents. That kills 3 birds with one stone. They are always looking for subs at a minimum, which would give me flexibility to start off with and a foot in the door. People work there forever, which shows me that it must be a pretty decent place to work. Plus it just sounds kinda fun. Which I really couldn't say about any of the other jobs I considered.
So I filled out an application. Their receptionist told me that she is pretty sure I could at least sub to start and she would give my app to the owner who incidentally knows my mom from the gym. So now I'm just waiting for a call.
I hope it is all I want it to be!
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