Time for A Change

I'm making a change. I'm going to lose weight.
Why? I am sick of being chunky. I am sick of worrying about what I'm going to wear to any given gathering. Trying to find the magical outfit that will make me look and feel skinnier than I am. Wondering if I'm going to be the fattest one there. Going on vacation and looking at all the cute bikinis while I wear my oh so cute cover-up. Going shopping and knowing that it will be a miracle to go into the cute stores and find a size 14. Wearing and XXL from Target. Shopping with friends and just looking at shoes and earrings. Feeling like a frumpy mom.

I just finished reading Conversations with God and during the conversation it states that if you don't like what is going on in your life, just choose again. Up to this point I have chosen to be fat. Simple as that. I haven't really exercised in 6 months (while I have used the excuse that I had a foot injury that required surgery 2 months ago, I could have done some other kind of exercise and didn't). I have eaten whatever I wanted. Really the miracle is that I'm not bigger than I am! I won't say the time has been wasted however. I was really muddled in the brain by all the different diets I've tried in the past. Just being, without worrying about dieting has helped me regain a sense of what is normal eating and what my health priorities are.

So, now I'm ready to choose again. I am going to choose health. I am going to choose healthy, whole, preferably organic and local foods cooked in simple ways. I choose to move my body. I choose to regain a body that I can be proud of. I choose to weigh less than 150 lbs. I choose to wear a size 1o or smaller. And I choose not to freak out about it along the way.

So that is what I've chosen. The next question is obviously how? Tomorrow I am going to go back to Weight Watchers. I've done it before and lost 15 lbs before I got pregnant the second time. I am going to do the Core program, not counting points for the most part, just eating from an extensive list of healthy whole foods. The accountability of the weigh ins as well as the support from the meetings will really help me, I believe. R pays the equivalent in a gym membership each month, so I don't feel guilty , AT ALL, spending the money on myself (something I have used as an excuse not to rejoin in the past). I also plan to work up to running again. I am going to head out every morning from 7-8 to walk for the next month. In January I will begin to phase in running again. By May I'd like to run a half marathon in Ogden Canyon.

The when is that I'd l ike to hit certain goals along the way. I haven't worked them all out yet, and will post when I do, but I'm shooting for 145 lbs by June 2008. That's five pounds a month, just over 1 lb a week. Totally doable.

I'm going to my first meeting tomorrow. I will begin posting my stats then.